Currently our household is busier than ever. Our 2 1/2 year old is learning and exploring every day and our 8 1/2 month old learned how to scoot around last week. We are constantly on the go now. I have learned some things in the last 8 months that have helped our household run relatively smoothly. We rarely have break downs, we rarely have temper tantrums thrown and we maybe have to do time out once every few weeks. How does our house run so smoothly? This is how...
From day one, I made sure they take naps at the same time. We are still doing this. She naps in the morning for about 30 minutes to an hour and they both go down around 1. Now, my son does not always nap. He's getting older and there are days where he is just less tired. But mommy still needs a break. So he still has to go to his room and we call these "taking a break". He knows that he doesn't have to nap but he does have to stay in his room and play quietly on his bed with his books or his one puzzle until I come and get him. This ensures that he is still getting rest even if its not sleep and it gives me time to regroup for the second half of our day.
We play together..a lot. I spend a good part of my day on the floor with both kids. I let them play individually, I let them play together and I let them play with me. They take turns being in my lap or on me. This has done a few things for us. It has let them get to know each other and play together, its letting them be independent and it allows them both to have equal play time with me. We have never had a jealousy issue in this house. And as they get older, I want that to remain the same. I want them both to know that I have all the time in the world for both of them if they need me.
Along with playing together, we also do everything else together. And I mean everything! We eat together (she is in a high chair and he stands on a step stool so he can see the island countertop and eats from there). We go grocery shopping together (he rides in the cart and she rides in the moby wrap with me). They bathe together. We change diapers together. EVERYTHING! Because we do this, my kids have bonded early on in ways that I didn't think would happen until later. And they have learned how to "deal" with each other. By this I mean, when my son does throw a tantrum, my daughter rarely reacts, when she's upset, he has concern for her, but he doesn't lose it too. I think for us, by doing everything together, my kids know that each of them will not always have good and happy moments. So they aren't affected by the tantrum. This helps us tremendously have a quiet and happy home where two children aren't throwing temper tantrums together.
And in saying that, I still give each child enough time with me. I cuddle my daughter a lot in the mornings because that is when my son is the most active and playing on his own. Then after my daughter goes to bed (which is about an hour to an hour and a half before my son), I cuddle with him. We do have some days where X needs more attention or O needs more attention. On those days, we just cuddle as much as we can and stagger it as best we can to make them both feel happy and content.
I have said this before and I will say it again...SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE! We stick to a schedule around here. They eat, nap and go to bed around the same times every day. We give ourselves 30-40 minutes give because one or both my sleep late, or take a longer nap. Because my kids know that their needs and wants will be met for the day (food, sleep, rest, play time, cuddle time), then I can pretty much go anywhere and run any errand in my windows that I need to or want to and they go, happily.
Everything doesn't always go as planned around here and there are days where we are planning to go to the park and then one or both kid gets needy and we can't go. We can go to the park and mall and so forth if both kids are having a good day, but if they're clingy, then we have to skip because I don't have enough strength to hold them both. But those days are few and far between. My advice, is to use the first 6-8 weeks with kids number two to see how everyone adapts, then you plan your life and schedule around them both. O didn't take a morning nap for the longest time. She only took one long afternoon nap a day. So up until she was 5 months old, we did a lot of our playing outside, errands and so forth in the morning. But then, she started getting too tired and needed that nap. So things changed again. Our schedule often changes, but once we know how it needs to change, we change it and stick to it for as long as it works. In the fall, X will start a mothers day out two days a week, so our schedule will change again. Changing a schedule isn't a big deal around here because my kids have learned to go with the flow because I have learned to read them and meet what they need for the day. So for now, we have a peaceful and happy home with two very fun and active, growing kids!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Monday, May 13, 2013
Still here...
I know it has been forever since I last blogged. Keeping two children, 20 months apart, fed, healthy and going keeps me busy. Overall, it has been super rewarding though. My daughter is now 6 months old! Yeah for her. She is growing so fast and I am so proud of her. She is giggling, rolling over, eating well and growing like a weed. My son, is just as rambunctious as ever. He is talking more and more and his jibber, jabber is becoming more and more understandable. My husband is working hard and still spending time with us which is so precious.
I have started a new adventure and am loving it! I started selling Mary Kay. I am in love with the products! The skin care is amazing and I feel like, even though I am aging, my skin is not. That makes me happy. I am totally on board and embracing being 28 and am looking forward to my 30's, but I want my skin to stay as young and vibrant as I can allow it. :) If you are interested in checking out the amazing products that I love so much and are interested in buying anything, you can always check out my website! I am happy to help answer any questions!! www.marykay.com/mray62795 is your one stop shop! The best part about it, is busy moms don't have to leave their home. We ship right to you and its fast and easy! It makes my life on the go so much easier to know that I can order my makeup, thats high quality, without even leaving home! Seriously, try it! Its worth it!
Life here is amazing. I have the kids napping at the same time, which helps a bunch! I started that right off the bat. She naps for about an hour in the mornings and then they both go down around 1:30 or 2 and are asleep for at least a couple hours. I have them going to bed at the same time too. So even, if they tag team me on naps some days...since my 2 year old isn't always in a napping mood...I still get mommy time once they head off to bed around 7-7:30. I am hoping to get back on track with my blogging! I will endeavor to do better. Until then, I hope everyone is having a wonderful spring and I look forward to blogging more!
I have started a new adventure and am loving it! I started selling Mary Kay. I am in love with the products! The skin care is amazing and I feel like, even though I am aging, my skin is not. That makes me happy. I am totally on board and embracing being 28 and am looking forward to my 30's, but I want my skin to stay as young and vibrant as I can allow it. :) If you are interested in checking out the amazing products that I love so much and are interested in buying anything, you can always check out my website! I am happy to help answer any questions!! www.marykay.com/mray62795 is your one stop shop! The best part about it, is busy moms don't have to leave their home. We ship right to you and its fast and easy! It makes my life on the go so much easier to know that I can order my makeup, thats high quality, without even leaving home! Seriously, try it! Its worth it!
Life here is amazing. I have the kids napping at the same time, which helps a bunch! I started that right off the bat. She naps for about an hour in the mornings and then they both go down around 1:30 or 2 and are asleep for at least a couple hours. I have them going to bed at the same time too. So even, if they tag team me on naps some days...since my 2 year old isn't always in a napping mood...I still get mommy time once they head off to bed around 7-7:30. I am hoping to get back on track with my blogging! I will endeavor to do better. Until then, I hope everyone is having a wonderful spring and I look forward to blogging more!
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Lego Birthday Party
My little boy turned 2 on Valentines day. Its amazing to see how fast he's growing and how he is learning new things daily. For his 2nd birthday party we decided to do a lego theme. He loves his legos, so what better way to celebrate! My sister in law is an amazing baker and can do some amazing things. She made our wedding cake, which was fabulous and she has pretty much done a cake for every event we have had since.
This was our wedding cake. Each layer was a different flavor and I had each layer twisted so it wasn't symmetrical. I like to do things a little different.
Anyway, she also does cake balls and let me tell you, I have had some cake balls from bakers all over, and hers are still the best. She is a stay at home mom with my adorable niece and bakes on the side. She has done so well, a few years ago she made it into a full on business that she does from home still. She is fantastic. Her website is at the bottom of this blog for anyone interested. So here are the pics from the party.
We had her do a lego cake that looked like legos on the inside with lego molds on the outside of the cake. She also made a little lego man to go on top. So cute!! We decorated the table with his lego animals. And I got blue and red plates for the table and yellow napkins. Over all, the party was a hit.
Perfectly cute little lego man!
She made these cute lego cake pops for the favors for the little kids. And I got vases and put some of my son's mega blocks in them. You can see some of the lego cookies in the back.
Happy birthday baby!!
His lips were blue from the cookies that I made. He kept eating the little m & m's off them and leaving the cookie part. Silly kiddo.
He helped me sort out the green, blue and yellow mini m & m's for the cookies. He was such a big helper. He ate all the other colors first, then sorted the one's I needed. :) I got a small rectangle cookie cutter for the cookies, iced them and put the mini m & m's on them. My lego cookies were a success. Not perfect, but still good!
Happy birthday, dude! You are the sweetest, most handsome little guy and we couldn't be more proud of you!!
For anyone interested in using my sister in law for cakes, her website is www.arayofcakes.com. Like I said she does awesome work. If you are in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, check her out. I know she has shipped her cake balls before but I am not sure if she still does that, for those of you who are out of town.
Until next time...
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
How to survive the night
I can honestly say that my 14 week old is now sleeping through the night and I am so thankful for that. I am slowly regaining my sanity and sleeping through the night. However, I discovered early on some things that really helped me get through the night and not lose my head completely. If you have been in this spot, are currently in it or are expecting to be here at some point, you know or will know that being up in the middle of the night can be maddening. I think its because everyone else is asleep and you're not. When the baby needs you during the day, its easier and part of your job, but at night, it just seems cruel. BUT, it doesn't last forever and some of those moments can be precious. I did love cuddling with her in the dark, in the quiet. With an almost 2 year old running around during the day, quiet is hard to come by. But at night....silence. And it can be so sweet. Anyway, here are my tips to survive the night and make it easier.
Don't count the hours. Go to bed at a decent time, prepared to get up at any moment, and just sleep. Don't count how many hours you may get until your wee one wakes up. When the baby does cry and you get up, don't count how many hours you may get once you get back to bed. Just be present. It really does help. Go feed the baby, cuddle and put the baby down and go back to bed. Let that be it. By not counting, you're not allowing yourself to dread it or be frustrated that you may only get 3 more hours before you have to be up. Just go to bed and do your best to get what you can while you can.
Don't use electronics. I know its 4 in the morning and you are so tired and maybe you can't sleep while the baby is eating, so you want to distract yourself with facebook or twitter. Don't. All it does, is brighten the room, awaken your brain and make it harder for you to wind down again when you finally go back to bed.
Don't talk. This is more for the baby than me, but it works. I have a strict policy, we don't talk to our babies at night. I shhhh her if she needs it, but other than that, I stay quiet. This helps separate the night and day for baby. During the day, before nap time and bed time, we may sing, I'll tell her a story, but in the middle of the night, she needs to know that we are just going to eat and then go straight back to bed. I think this helped her know what was expected and as a result, she would eat and go straight back down into her cradle next to our bed or her crib without a peep.
Keep the lights off as best you can. Try to turn a hall light on and crack the door if you need light. The dark is another thing that would help baby know its quiet time, eating time and back to bed time. The dark also helps you be able to close your eyes.
Close your eyes. Even if you don't go to sleep. I was always in a rocking chair and so its not like I could go to sleep. Some moms feed the baby in bed on their side and are able to sleep while baby eats. I am not that talented and we don't co-sleep, so I was always sitting up. But closing your eyes helps your brain and body relax and stay in a very serene state while feeding. Then when you go back to bed, your body has an easier time going back to sleep because its not having to wind down.
Know that you are not alone. You are NOT alone. There are thousands of mom around you that are up right now when you are. So when you are awake and tired and frustrated, its always nice to know that there are other people out there doing the same thing you are. I live in a neighborhood where there are a ton of stay at home moms with babies my kids age. We get together and talk about how we were up last night at what times and its fun to know, they were up too. So find some new moms or dads and let them be your support when you're tired, because they are tired too and get it.
Be flexible. My last tip is to be flexible. If your kid is sleeping in the crib and there is a night where they just won't settle back down, then maybe for one night, take them to the couch and let them cuddle with you. I did that a couple times. It seemed she would only sleep on me and when I would put her in her crib, no matter how many times, she would wake up. So I just took her to the couch and slept with her on me. It let me get rest and sleep and it let her sleep. Then the next night we went back to normal and she went back into her crib.
Here's the bottom line, being up with the baby can be extremely rewarding. You're the only one who gets that precious time with them at that hour, you get extra cuddles and it can be so sweet and full of memories. But it can also be nerve wrecking. You're tired, you're baby won't settle down, all sorts of things can go wrong at night. But just know that here are ways to make it easier on yourself. These tips might not work for everyone. And every baby is different, but what can be constant is to be flexible and know you really are not alone.
Don't count the hours. Go to bed at a decent time, prepared to get up at any moment, and just sleep. Don't count how many hours you may get until your wee one wakes up. When the baby does cry and you get up, don't count how many hours you may get once you get back to bed. Just be present. It really does help. Go feed the baby, cuddle and put the baby down and go back to bed. Let that be it. By not counting, you're not allowing yourself to dread it or be frustrated that you may only get 3 more hours before you have to be up. Just go to bed and do your best to get what you can while you can.
Don't use electronics. I know its 4 in the morning and you are so tired and maybe you can't sleep while the baby is eating, so you want to distract yourself with facebook or twitter. Don't. All it does, is brighten the room, awaken your brain and make it harder for you to wind down again when you finally go back to bed.
Don't talk. This is more for the baby than me, but it works. I have a strict policy, we don't talk to our babies at night. I shhhh her if she needs it, but other than that, I stay quiet. This helps separate the night and day for baby. During the day, before nap time and bed time, we may sing, I'll tell her a story, but in the middle of the night, she needs to know that we are just going to eat and then go straight back to bed. I think this helped her know what was expected and as a result, she would eat and go straight back down into her cradle next to our bed or her crib without a peep.
Keep the lights off as best you can. Try to turn a hall light on and crack the door if you need light. The dark is another thing that would help baby know its quiet time, eating time and back to bed time. The dark also helps you be able to close your eyes.
Close your eyes. Even if you don't go to sleep. I was always in a rocking chair and so its not like I could go to sleep. Some moms feed the baby in bed on their side and are able to sleep while baby eats. I am not that talented and we don't co-sleep, so I was always sitting up. But closing your eyes helps your brain and body relax and stay in a very serene state while feeding. Then when you go back to bed, your body has an easier time going back to sleep because its not having to wind down.
Know that you are not alone. You are NOT alone. There are thousands of mom around you that are up right now when you are. So when you are awake and tired and frustrated, its always nice to know that there are other people out there doing the same thing you are. I live in a neighborhood where there are a ton of stay at home moms with babies my kids age. We get together and talk about how we were up last night at what times and its fun to know, they were up too. So find some new moms or dads and let them be your support when you're tired, because they are tired too and get it.
Be flexible. My last tip is to be flexible. If your kid is sleeping in the crib and there is a night where they just won't settle back down, then maybe for one night, take them to the couch and let them cuddle with you. I did that a couple times. It seemed she would only sleep on me and when I would put her in her crib, no matter how many times, she would wake up. So I just took her to the couch and slept with her on me. It let me get rest and sleep and it let her sleep. Then the next night we went back to normal and she went back into her crib.
Here's the bottom line, being up with the baby can be extremely rewarding. You're the only one who gets that precious time with them at that hour, you get extra cuddles and it can be so sweet and full of memories. But it can also be nerve wrecking. You're tired, you're baby won't settle down, all sorts of things can go wrong at night. But just know that here are ways to make it easier on yourself. These tips might not work for everyone. And every baby is different, but what can be constant is to be flexible and know you really are not alone.
Thursday, January 10, 2013
How to clean your Keurig
We have a Keurig and use it often! Its fast and efficient and we love it. But it does get dirty. I noticed after we made hot chocolate one day that there was some powder that got in the cup holder and as other cups were made, the steam was causing that powder to turn into hot chocolate in the cup! Gross. So I looked in the manual and discovered how to clean it. Here are pictures and step by step instructions. It really is easy!
First, open up the lid and pop out the cup. You do this by holding onto the top and pushing up from the bottom. Ours was gross.
I then got a damp paper towel and cleaned the inside of the Keurig.
Thats it! Pretty simple, pretty quick too. But if you're like me and weren't sure where to start, then here you go.
First, open up the lid and pop out the cup. You do this by holding onto the top and pushing up from the bottom. Ours was gross.
The tray got pretty gross too from drips. So be sure to clean that too. Nasty!
The cup that comes out breaks apart into two pieces. I cleaned both of those.
The long part that extends from the cup is where the coffee comes out. I got a toothpick and cleaned it out. You can use anything thats small enough to fit in there. If your Keurig ever gets clogged, thats where you go first.
After I reassembled the Keurig, I dumped the water tank, refilled it and ran it for a couple times without anything in it (coffee, hot chocolate, tea). A lot of dirt came out.
Thats it! Pretty simple, pretty quick too. But if you're like me and weren't sure where to start, then here you go.
Friday, January 4, 2013
A perfect new years day
New Years eve I woke up in a baking mood, so I made breakfast for the family! We had pumpkin waffles! Super easy, super fast and super yummy! Here is the recipe:
Pumpkin waffles:
1 c. all purpose flour
1 tbsp firmly packed brown sugar
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1 1/4 c. milk
1 large egg
1 tsp cinnamon
1 1/2 tbsp melted butter
1 can pumpkin puree
Mix all the dry ingredients together. Mix the wet ingredients together. Combine with the dry ingredients and then stir in pumpkin. Top with whip cream and/ or syrup!
This is a great way to get your kids to eat something good for them without them even knowing it.
Having something this delicious sure was a great start to a great day. My husband and I are fortunate enough to have his parents live close, so they were able to watch our kids while we went off and had a dinner just the two of us!! Then we went and got our kids and went to a kid friendly party in our neighborhood!! Our almost 2 year old made it to 10 pm! Whoo! We stayed out later than we thought. LOL! its funny how much things change when you have kids. We never would have thought that we would say we stayed out late at 10pm.
But we rung in the new year with two kids in bed and asleep by 10:30. A perfect day.
This was taken on our way to dinner!
Enjoy the recipe everyone. More to come...
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Women's choice to have choices
I was on pinterest the other day and I came across this pin that was titled, "Are you a wife that is easy to love?" I liked the sound of that and I am always looking for ways to better myself as a person and a wife, so I clicked on the blog. It's a good article. It has some decent advice and I took it for what it was meant for and nothing more. However, some of the comments that followed made me very angry. For those of you interested, here is the blog: http://joleneengle.com/are-you-a-wife-thats-easy-to-love/
The main point to the blog was this: respect your husband and in turn he will love you which is what we want. I agree with her point of view. Men want respect. That's how they feel loved the most. We want love shown to us or given to us whether it's through flowers, the husband doing the dishes, or simply the husband saying "you look beautiful today". It differs from women to women, but if we show our husbands respect, they feel important, meaningful and well, respected and then they want to show us how much they love us and appreciate us for helping him feel that way. Simple. I truly believe, this is how God meant it to be.
But woman started commenting on this blog about how disgusted they were and how disturbing this concept is. One lady stated that she needed to get respect in order to give it. Seriously? When did our world become you have to get something before you can give? As I was taught and raised and as the bible states, you do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It didn't say, you get from others then you give to them what you got from them. I am not going to get into religion with this post, because it is also pretty simple in the fact that if you do not believe in the bible, then this whole conversation about wives submitting and respecting their husbands and husbands cherishing their wives and loving them as Christ loves the church, is just moot. But I will say this about women who choose to treat their husbands differently than the norm and that is: we are more fulfilled.
I don't always enjoy getting up and doing chores, but I do know that my husband goes off to work and is stressed and weary by the time he gets home. He doesn't want to come home to a cluttered home or a home thats a wreck. I think I have stated this before in my previous posts, but I will state it again. Your home should be one that when your husband walks in, he walks into peace and not chaos. Its not always going to be perfect. He may walk in and two kids are crying and dinner went too long in the crock pot and is burned, but the way I greet him is the difference. If I shove a baby into his arms and say you need to go get dinner while I get this kid a bath, then he is going to think, really? I came home to this, maybe I should have worked late and waited until the kids were in bed. Instead, I smile, I laugh and I say we're having a moment. I kiss him. I let him change out of his work clothes. I get the kids to calm down and then I explain dinner. He's happy to help once he's changed clothes. He can sit and hold the baby while I get the toddler to bed and then we can calmly discuss dinner and make a plan together. This is respect. It's respecting the fact that he has a job too and I don't want him telling me what to do, so why would I do that to him. Because I choose to make a difference and respect my husband, he cherishes me and loves me in ways I never thought possible. He will fetch dinner at any hour in any weather condition, he will give me a Saturday off where I can do whatever I want while he watches the kids, he rubs my feet, he even runs off to get me some dessert from wherever just because. He brings me flowers just because and he is often surprising me with little gifts here and there. And he gets that my job is harder than his.
We did not get here by demanding that our needs come first. We got here because we put the other person ahead of ourselves. I completely understand not wanting to give respect if you are being disrespected. And in some extreme cases, this is true. Always know who you are and what you are worth. Stand up for yourself and don't let someone walk all over you. But this is not what this blogger was talking about, yet some woman took it this way. Life is too short and frankly, there are some pretty easy things one can do in a marriage to make a marriage run more smoothly, why take things to the extreme and complain about not getting yours. These ladies were making comments about how this is from another century and this blogger is living in the 1950's. I know that not every woman back then was happy and I know the divorce rate was very low because it was frowned upon, but look at the divorce rates now! I don't know about you, but if giving respect in turn means I am loved the way I need and want, and that saves my marriage, then I plan on respecting my husband always and putting him first.
I will say, however, that there have been one or two occasions when we have had fights and I stand up for myself and remind my husband of my worth. He stops, calms down, and we go back to discussing whatever calmly. There are times, when women need to stand up for themselves, even to their husbands. But we don't have to make a huge case about the women who choose to live their life by submitting. If you disagree, fine, disagree, live your life the way you choose, have a marriage the way you want and be happy, but don't lash out at those who choose to live differently.
I chose to stay home. I wanted to stay home and I do not get to stay home because I married a wealthy man as one woman stated, and he certainly DID NOT tell me I HAD to stay home. I make my own choices and truthfully, we will always make sacrifices so I can be here. Day care costs so much anyway, it would take my whole paycheck nearly, so I stay home because WE (my husband and I) believe that is what is best for our kids. I may go back to work someday when they are in school. I may go back to school and get my masters or my law degree. I may never do either and make a life out of being a homemaker, but know that whatever I choose, I choose.
Women's rights were designed and made a big deal because women wanted the right to choose, the right to vote, the right to work and earn what a man earns. Women wanted to be treated equal. So lets treat each other and all women as equals regardless of what lives we choose to live. Women wanted rights, now we have them all, so respect your fellow women's right to live. Don't bash it because it is not what you want. Truthfully, there is no right or wrong. There is not any two people on this planet that are exactly alike. There is not any situation or circumstance out there that is identical to the next, so how can one person say what someone should do or shouldn't do? How can someone else think they know better? Lets love more, support more, respect more, be more considerate, compassionate and tolerant and then maybe the violence will go down, divorce will go down and hatred will subside.
I was infuriated by what these women were saying to this one woman, who is bold enough to write and announce to the world that this is how she lives and how her marriage works. I agree with almost everything she said, but I am not going to be mean to the girl next to me who disagrees all the way. I want people to know that marriages work when people stop caring about themselves first and put their spouse ahead of them. Put their needs and wants ahead of ours and in turn the joy you receive from loving them like that is worth more than anything I could have asked for. Seeing my husband happy and excited to come home after a long day is what brightens my day. So I write this and I intend on posting this onto this blog I read in response to all those comments, to say that we need to love and let go a lot more. Live more Christ like if thats what you believe and if not, then just live to be more tolerant.
The main point to the blog was this: respect your husband and in turn he will love you which is what we want. I agree with her point of view. Men want respect. That's how they feel loved the most. We want love shown to us or given to us whether it's through flowers, the husband doing the dishes, or simply the husband saying "you look beautiful today". It differs from women to women, but if we show our husbands respect, they feel important, meaningful and well, respected and then they want to show us how much they love us and appreciate us for helping him feel that way. Simple. I truly believe, this is how God meant it to be.
But woman started commenting on this blog about how disgusted they were and how disturbing this concept is. One lady stated that she needed to get respect in order to give it. Seriously? When did our world become you have to get something before you can give? As I was taught and raised and as the bible states, you do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It didn't say, you get from others then you give to them what you got from them. I am not going to get into religion with this post, because it is also pretty simple in the fact that if you do not believe in the bible, then this whole conversation about wives submitting and respecting their husbands and husbands cherishing their wives and loving them as Christ loves the church, is just moot. But I will say this about women who choose to treat their husbands differently than the norm and that is: we are more fulfilled.
I don't always enjoy getting up and doing chores, but I do know that my husband goes off to work and is stressed and weary by the time he gets home. He doesn't want to come home to a cluttered home or a home thats a wreck. I think I have stated this before in my previous posts, but I will state it again. Your home should be one that when your husband walks in, he walks into peace and not chaos. Its not always going to be perfect. He may walk in and two kids are crying and dinner went too long in the crock pot and is burned, but the way I greet him is the difference. If I shove a baby into his arms and say you need to go get dinner while I get this kid a bath, then he is going to think, really? I came home to this, maybe I should have worked late and waited until the kids were in bed. Instead, I smile, I laugh and I say we're having a moment. I kiss him. I let him change out of his work clothes. I get the kids to calm down and then I explain dinner. He's happy to help once he's changed clothes. He can sit and hold the baby while I get the toddler to bed and then we can calmly discuss dinner and make a plan together. This is respect. It's respecting the fact that he has a job too and I don't want him telling me what to do, so why would I do that to him. Because I choose to make a difference and respect my husband, he cherishes me and loves me in ways I never thought possible. He will fetch dinner at any hour in any weather condition, he will give me a Saturday off where I can do whatever I want while he watches the kids, he rubs my feet, he even runs off to get me some dessert from wherever just because. He brings me flowers just because and he is often surprising me with little gifts here and there. And he gets that my job is harder than his.
We did not get here by demanding that our needs come first. We got here because we put the other person ahead of ourselves. I completely understand not wanting to give respect if you are being disrespected. And in some extreme cases, this is true. Always know who you are and what you are worth. Stand up for yourself and don't let someone walk all over you. But this is not what this blogger was talking about, yet some woman took it this way. Life is too short and frankly, there are some pretty easy things one can do in a marriage to make a marriage run more smoothly, why take things to the extreme and complain about not getting yours. These ladies were making comments about how this is from another century and this blogger is living in the 1950's. I know that not every woman back then was happy and I know the divorce rate was very low because it was frowned upon, but look at the divorce rates now! I don't know about you, but if giving respect in turn means I am loved the way I need and want, and that saves my marriage, then I plan on respecting my husband always and putting him first.
I will say, however, that there have been one or two occasions when we have had fights and I stand up for myself and remind my husband of my worth. He stops, calms down, and we go back to discussing whatever calmly. There are times, when women need to stand up for themselves, even to their husbands. But we don't have to make a huge case about the women who choose to live their life by submitting. If you disagree, fine, disagree, live your life the way you choose, have a marriage the way you want and be happy, but don't lash out at those who choose to live differently.
I chose to stay home. I wanted to stay home and I do not get to stay home because I married a wealthy man as one woman stated, and he certainly DID NOT tell me I HAD to stay home. I make my own choices and truthfully, we will always make sacrifices so I can be here. Day care costs so much anyway, it would take my whole paycheck nearly, so I stay home because WE (my husband and I) believe that is what is best for our kids. I may go back to work someday when they are in school. I may go back to school and get my masters or my law degree. I may never do either and make a life out of being a homemaker, but know that whatever I choose, I choose.
Women's rights were designed and made a big deal because women wanted the right to choose, the right to vote, the right to work and earn what a man earns. Women wanted to be treated equal. So lets treat each other and all women as equals regardless of what lives we choose to live. Women wanted rights, now we have them all, so respect your fellow women's right to live. Don't bash it because it is not what you want. Truthfully, there is no right or wrong. There is not any two people on this planet that are exactly alike. There is not any situation or circumstance out there that is identical to the next, so how can one person say what someone should do or shouldn't do? How can someone else think they know better? Lets love more, support more, respect more, be more considerate, compassionate and tolerant and then maybe the violence will go down, divorce will go down and hatred will subside.
I was infuriated by what these women were saying to this one woman, who is bold enough to write and announce to the world that this is how she lives and how her marriage works. I agree with almost everything she said, but I am not going to be mean to the girl next to me who disagrees all the way. I want people to know that marriages work when people stop caring about themselves first and put their spouse ahead of them. Put their needs and wants ahead of ours and in turn the joy you receive from loving them like that is worth more than anything I could have asked for. Seeing my husband happy and excited to come home after a long day is what brightens my day. So I write this and I intend on posting this onto this blog I read in response to all those comments, to say that we need to love and let go a lot more. Live more Christ like if thats what you believe and if not, then just live to be more tolerant.
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