Our birth story

We are planning to leave tomorrow to go to Chicago and will be there until the weekend. I figure with a big trip coming and all the things that will need to get done once we get back, I better blog now while I have the time. So as promised, here is our delightful birth story.

Lets start with my husband. He is such a planner and organizer. He likes to have things ready and at least two or three different plans and routes in case we run into problems. He always prepares for at least 1-3 problems in every major event so that when these issues arise, its nothing he can't expect, handle and effectively deal with. I married up girls! So his idea was to have a phone tree. Once we knew we were heading to the hospital, he would have one or two people he called who would call three people and call more people and so on. This way everyone we wanted to know would know with us not having to do much. I say us, I meant, him. :) As of 37 weeks, he still had not made that list.

Continuing with my husband's part of this amazing story...we still had not sold our house in Georgetown, TX. We moved from Georgetown to Dallas when I was 7 months pregnant and had put our house on the market there. We had showings, but no buyers. Finally, someone took the bite when I was around 35-36 weeks pregnant. All of our stuff was still there because our house was staged. All we took when we moved was the essentials. So to complicate things, I am now 38 weeks pregnant and our house sold and there is still no phone tree. I told my husband early that week around 38 weeks, that he better start making that list because I felt different. I felt like my body was tired and done carrying this kid because we were running out of room and fast. He did make that phone tree and two days later he had to go move us out of our house in Georgetown and into a storage shed in Dallas. This was his weekend...

He didn't want me leaving Dallas County in case I did go into labor. We didn't really want to be 3 hours away and not be anywhere near our new doctor and hospital. And really what use would I have been? I couldn't lift anything, I could barely bend over and I would have just been in the way. (my husband and I have a very different idea on how to move, so with me out of the way, it was easier on him) On thursday night, he left. He spent pretty much all night Thurday packing and all day and into the night Friday packing our entire two story, 4 bedroom, 2800 sq ft home all by himself. Bless his heart! (I told you girls, I married well) Then his parents left me and went to help him on Saturday. We had relatives on stand by for me. They packed the rest up and the movers came that afternoon to load. They finished loading late Saturday and so the movers decided not to come until first thing Sunday morning. Philip and his parents got home very late Saturday night and exhausted. Sunday morning, he got up, we went to storage, met the movers and spent all day playing tetris in a storage shed that ended up being barely the right size. To top that off, it was on the second floor. We still had cars loaded with stuff, so all that had to get unloaded somewhere too. He was so exhausted Sunday and was finally done. Which leads me to that night...

My husband had not really rested or slept in 3 nights now and he was running on E. We decided to take a break, watch a movie and go to bed early. We finished dinner and I went upstairs to start the movie while he talked to his parents a bit. I started feeling contractions. I thought it was false labor since I was only 38 weeks along and they say that your first is often late. So I ignored them and kept on watching TV. They persisted so I started timing them. They went from every 5 min to every 2 min. Philip finally came upstairs and said, "are you crying?" I said, "no, why?" Apparently I looked as if I was crying. He claims to this day I was, but I don't think so. He asked what was wrong and I said I am just having false labor, no big deal. He told me to time them and I said I had and told him about the progression. He went and got his mom who came in and asked as well. She used to work for a dr. They both started timing me and staring at me. I was like, hey its not happening now, I'm fine. After a few minutes he said he would feel better if I called the dr. It was 9:30p at this point. So I called and they said if you keep having these contractions after a full hour, come in. At this point it had been going on for 30 minutes. At 10, we got in the car. Everyone was excited but I still thought this was false labor. We get to the hospital, they admitted me into triage around 10:15pm. And then the big contractions started.

I was actually telling my husband to find the nurse because I wanted an epidural right then. I didn't know you had to wait until you were officially admitted into labor and delivery to get the epidural and standard proceedure was to be in triage for at least 2 hours. 2 hours?! With sharp pain? And all I can do is lay there. Oh no, no...not a good thing for a woman who is used to moving around when she doesn't feel good and hurts. The nurse asked me to remember what I learned in my birthing class. Birthing class? Hahaha, oh wait...I didn't take one. ;) I figured I would play it by ear. I am a very naive woman. I did not play it by ear. I was only dialated to a 2 I think. It might have been a 4. I don't remember, I just know that I must have been a huge pain because after only on hour or so, she admitted me.

We were admitted around 11pm. I got a lovely epidural around 1am and things seemed great for the first few hours. My husband laid down on a roll away bed and got some sleep...finally. It was great, I didn't feel a thing. Except I was HUNGRY! I mean, bite my arm off starving. My husband (the planner he is) told me to eat on the way and I said we will be in and out, its not labor, but it was and I didn't get any food. I should have listened. I was stuck at 4 (dialated to a 4) for a long time. Then around 5-6am, I started feeling contractions. The epidural appeared to be wearing off. Not good for a women who doesn't like pain and this pain was 5x what it was a few hours before in triage. So the nurse called the anethesiologist who gave me another dose. 30 minutes later, I was feeling contractions. We did this over and over and over. By 7:30am everything was a blur. I had been dosed with so much epidural, the nurse said I could have had a C-section with that amount and not felt anything and I was still feeling everything. My husband quit sleeping long before this because I was in so much pain. I was also still dialated to a 4. They gave me pitocin (which speeds things up) and everything just went crazy from there. The dr checked me and said that I was good and I should start dialating one centemeter per hour, so he would be back at lunch. Lunch?! Remember I was still starving. I told the nurse if I had to wait until lunch, I would for sure faint once I started pushing.

On a side note, the dr I chose whom I loved and was so comfortable with, was skiing that weekend. So I had another Dr whom I did not know and did not want. Two actually. One throughout the night and one at shift change at 7am. I was not very serene with the dr who told me I couldn't eat. Plus, we had hit Valentines day. Thats right, this was all the night before Valentines day and the morning of. Apparently there are a lot of women who schedule to be induced on this night so they can have Valentine babies. I saw the first dr a few times who was just checking in with us. The second dr I saw twice. Once to say hi and once to catch the baby. It was not a very personal experience with my dr.

Anyway, the epidural wasn't working. So the nurse decided to have the supervisor of the anethesiologists (all 6 of them that came in to up my dose) come in and do it again. They found that it was in too low. Given my size, they were just off and so they had to do it again. The rest happened so quickly. They didn't kick Philip out for this epidural because it all needed to happen quickly and he didn't have time to leave. They usually kick the husbands out because of the size of the needle. More husbands faint from that than the delivery. Philip was holding my head and telling me to breathe. The nurse was putting pressure on my stomach to calm the contractions and the dude is giving me an epidural all when I tell the nurse, "Something bounced!" Yep, I felt something. The other nurse who had come in for shift change blew me off and said nothing bounced honey. I said, "No, it did!". The nurse (the one I had all night) told everyone to stop and for me to lay down and sure enough, there was a head. I had gone from 4-10 centimeters in like 45 minutes. And I felt it all! The epidural was done at this point and was starting to kick in, the nurse ran after the dr who came in and said to push. I pushed twice and our baby was born at 8:31am Valentines day morning. I was totally numb and happy at this point.

Thats me at 38 weeks and right after our son was born. I was due February 26 and he came February 14.

The last part of my story ends with me almost fainting off a toilet. They had transferred me to a room and when we got there, I had to go to the bathroom. The nurse and my mom helped me to the toilet and when I got on I started seeing spots, then black. I said mom, I see black and then I remember going limp. My mom caught me (she is just as small as me) and the stupid nurse, instead of helping, ran to the door to call for help. My mom was mad and I remember hearing her say, if you don't get back here I am going to drop her and she will hit her head on the shower. The nurse came back to help, I came around but needless to say we asked for another nurse. Thats what happens when you get up and move around after having a full dose of an epidural.

So there you have it. This was our first borns birth story.

thinking ahead

Call me crazy, but I am in super organizing, declutter, plan ahead mode. Ever since August hit, the due date seems all of the sudden super close! I entered into my third trimester today and I am kind of excited and kind of getting nervous all over again just the same.

I have one kid, remember, but the thought of this one coming freaks me out just the same. It was about 6 weeks out with my son that I started thinking, "How is he supposed to come out?" Maybe this is just me, but I knew his approximate weight, I know my weight (FYI: I am pretty petite) and I know how big things are down there. Put it all together and things don't add up. Then the big day comes and what is truly a miracle is a miracle because your body just seems to adapt. Ah-mazing to say the least.

Anyway, I am still getting a little nervous again regardless of my experience. I am also a little anxious about nesting. I am in major nesting mode, hence the organizing and decluttering. I have given so much stuff to Goodwill this year, its ridiculous. Also keep in mind that my husband and I went from a 2800 sq. ft 4 bedroom house with just us two to a 2100 sq. ft 3 bedroom house with a little one. All that stuff that we had plenty of room for in 4 rooms has now got to fit in two...the office and our bedroom. The extra two rooms are now in use. So far I have redone our laundry room, our pantry, our bathroom, our closet and our sons room. He is asleep right now, otherwise, I would get pictures of it.

The laundry room, I simply cleaned up, bought some baskets and a couple shelves and threw out a bunch of not needed things.

In the pantry, I got more baskets and categorized items. In our bathroom cabinets, I cleaned out everything, threw everything away that was expired or not going to be used and re-organized in there. Then in our closets, I cleaned out extra hangers (my husband has his court clothes dry cleaned so we end up with thousands of hangers!) and gave away a bunch of pairs of shoes and clothes. We are also having a builder come in and re-do our closets to give us an extra rod each and make things more efficient in there.

Today, we had the nursery painted. They are coming back to do the design tomorrow. Pictures will come soon. I also ordered the baby bedding but part of it is back ordered until Sept 30. I am not due until November, but for some reason this is terrible news to me. LOL! I keep thinking what if it doesn't come in on time? But realistically, the baby will be in our room in a side sling bed for the first few weeks anyway and its not like the bumper is a huge deal to a 6 week old, but still...my hormones are telling me this is a big deal. :)

We did hire a doula this time too. She is amazing and so sweet. I meet with her next week to start wrapping my mind around this birth. I am going to TRY to have her all natural! No meds. Let me just state that I had an epidural with my first and I am not a fan of pain, so I am not promising anything, but I do want to try. I am so small that when I had the epidural with my first, they put it in too high and I felt everything anyway pretty much until 10 minutes before he was born. They had to give me a second one, which did kick in right in time for me to push twice and he was out. I was so drugged for so long after that since it was basically like getting an epidural and then being sent to a private room. I was dizzy and even fainted. Birth story to come in the next blog! It is kind of comical.

So for all the people out there who do not know me, let me introduce you to my crazy. Some may think, "hey, thats practical!" and some may say "she is flat out nuts!", either way, you are probably right. I have started Christmas shopping. Yes, you read that right. I am doing good too. I am making a bunch of gifts simply because pinterest has taken over my normal self and because I have no where to go when my kid is in bed at night and my husband works late. I already have a lot of gifts bought. Next step, after I make and buy everything, is to wrap them and have them ready to go by October! Hey! Does anyone want to shop with a one month old and a 21 month old? Not me. And frankly, I don't want that burden when my body is trying to heal and I am trying to get on a schedule thats best for my babies. Remember my previous blog? Schedule, schedule, schedule and work around my kids moods. I don't want to NEED to Christmas shop and then can't because of a kid configuring problem.

I also plan on making a bunch of freezer crock pot meals and stocking up at least 2 months worth so that I don't have to worry about dinner with 2 kids under the age of 2. Unfortunately, right now we are on a "mission to clean out the freezer". I say unfortunately because I am getting pretty creative on meals for us that include something from the freezer that isn't fine dining, but it feeds us. :) So in theory, I hope to have two months worth of meals prepared starting in October, have all Christmas presents made, bought and wrapped by October and have the nursery complete by middle of October!

I have a lot to do, but I am excited about all of it. Tales from what its like working with a doula who is going to mentally prepare me for an all natural childbirth to come. Progress on all my planning ahead will certainly continue to be a topic. Pictures of the nursery and the big boy room to come and a birth story for everyone's pleasure will be next. So stay tuned...

Kids and Marriage

I don't know if I was the only one to be shocked how things change once you have kids. All I know is that I had this impression that being married was awesome (which it is), we got along great, so throw some kids in the mix and its the same with extra little people running around. WRONG! Let me start by giving some insight into my marriage.

I have a wonderful marriage. I am married to an amazing man that supports my dreams, that would do anything and wants to do anything for me, and is just as passionate about us as I am. Obviously, when we first got married, we had some arguments on money, how to save/spend and whose stuff goes and whose stays. I am sure you all had these arguments. Once we figured out where we stood, we combined our methods and things worked out. Now, 3 1/2 years later, all that seems to be working out. We are on the same page and agree on almost everything. We were living near Austin the first 2 years of our marriage and we had a blast. We would go see movies anytime we wanted, go on dates every Friday night...yes, my amazing husband, got dressed up with me and we went out every Friday night...we spent extra money on things we wanted to, and we had no real worries.

Then fast foward a year or so, we moved to Dallas. We were 7 months pregnant at the time and our world was about to change! This little bundle of joy, born on Valentine's day 2011, came into our lives and all of the sudden things were different. Most for great reasons, some not so great. For one, the stay at home gig kind of kicked in and I felt like he got to get away from the screaming baby and I was stuck with the screaming baby (he didn't really scream that often). He came home and still needed to decompress before getting into "daddy duties" and I was ready for a break. Add all those miscommunication, misunderstandings up and then throw in the fact that we were living with his parents. We didn't exactly want to fight because we were opposed to that in front of our son and his parents, but we weren't jiving like before. Feelings got pushed down, hurt got swirled around, and my new mommy emotions were off the chart crazy. So lets just say...off the record...most, not all, but most of the problems came from me being nutty. Then we move out and we get into our brand new built home. Its beautiful, we have our own room where we can actually fit things, we have our own bed back and we got our life back. One problem, we had been living in a very different life that we no longer knew how to jive as well anymore. Don't get me wrong, we still laughed, we still were madly in love with each other, we just didn't know how to show it or tell each other how we were feeling as easily as before simply because WE, were no longer the priority; our son was. We no longer took the time to express our concerns because we had no time. When were we going to? In the middle of the night when we had 2 hours before his next feeding? Once he got home from working a new job where he was getting his own practice on its feet, he was ready to just sit still for a minute. He didn't want to hear how I felt abandoned all day or whatever was going through my crazy head then. Then once we had dinner and chilled for an hour or so, it was time to get the baby down. Then we had 2 hours to ourselves before bed and another feeding and I really didn't want to ruin that by arguing and neither did he, so naturally, feelings got shoved down.

Fast forward another year, here we are. We have successfully gotten back on track. It didn't take this long, no, it only took a couple weeks (LONG weeks ;) ), but things are amazing again. This is what changes though: what was once your priority (your husband) is now your baby (especially at such a young age), what was once a "free" life is now consumed by a baby's schedule, and you are left with almost a disconnect with your husband because you don't really have time to stay connected as much. We would still go out, but those converstaions were filled with the baby and work. Who were we now that we were parents? What changed within us? Did we know? We should have and then we should have talked about it...which we eventually did. Everything changes. As stated before, most is amazing and great, but you change and your husband changes. Though both of those are good in and of themselves, if you are not communicating how you have changed to the other, than how are we supposed to know? We were going about life as if we were our "single" selves, but needed to talk about how our "parent" selves had taken over and we were different people.

This is what I have learned so far:

That my husband really is and needs to be the priority. Our kids are important and they NEED us, but we are not giving them the best life they can have (which is what every parent wants) if we are not taking care of our marriage. My kids come second. Yes there are moments when our kids need us immediately, or are hungry and need to be fed, are hurt or need attention, and my kids get all this as it comes up. But my husband gets the rest of my time and is more important in the end. If we work out, our kids emotional and mental ways of looking at marriage and being parents one day will be healthy.

We need date nights. My kid can survive one night without me. I did not think this was possible the first 6 months, but they can. And when we are out, we try not to talk about work or the kids. Thats for dinner times at home.

We need vacation alone. My kids can survive a week with grandma after about 6 months and be just fine. I was not so sure of that the first trip we went away. Our son was 11 months old and we left for 10 days. I was a nervous wreck until I saw the beaches of Jamaica and looked at the person standing next to me whom I missed, my best friend, my husband.

My husband needs attention too. I may not be able to give it to him as soon as he walks in the door if our kid is still awake, but as soon as he goes to bed, my husband gets my attention.

We eat dinner as many times as possible a week together, with no electronics on. This gives us time to reconnect.

We need to still do things that we think our fun. You are never too old to go to a concert. I say that, and then the last rock concert we went to, we decided we needed ear plugs at the next one. You are never too old to stand in line for a popular movie that just came out. And the kids can stay with Grandma or a babysitter can come over and everything will be ok. Like I said, my husband is my priority.

I embraced being a stay at home mom. I took pride in it and started remembering that this is what I wanted. I remembered that this is a blessing not a curse and I looked at the positive sides of it. This does not mean that my son and I don't have bad days, but it does mean, that during those bad days, I remember that I would rather be here than at work. I took pride in my home and taking care of my family. Now, my husband leaving his socks everywhere is not that big of a deal, because I enjoy taking care of him and picking up my house. Before, I was going crazy because I figured he thought I was his maid. I am a huge fan of I Love Lucy and the 50's. I know we don't live a TV show life, especially from the 1950's, but I want to and I remember that Lucy Ricardo and Laura Petrie didn't complain. They were loving, caring, giving wives and I strive to be that too.

Respect him and he will cherish me. Just respect his opinion about the kids, the house even if you know your system works. I struggle with this. I try to remember that he is an equal parent and partner and his opinions need to matter because he is a priority and he needs to feel and be respected.

Recently I started reading a couple books to help things continue to grow. My marriage is great, but I am reading these books because I want to tend to my marriage and make sure that it continues to be great. So here are my suggestions on books that are excellent and doing a lot for me right now.

1. Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst. This book talks about how to be a Godly wife and make the most of your marriage. It describes what men need to feel secure and respected and how we can give them that. Its been amazing so far. There is another book that is for him called Capture Her Heart by the same author. I am loving this book so much that I asked my husband to read this one and his response was, "Sure!" That surprised me, but he said that the little things that I am doing for him as a result of my book has made an impact on him, so he is willing to read this book for me.

2. Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone. I am only part way through this book but it gives great insight to being a parent and how life changes. It relates to me a lot, though I feel like I am blessed that my husband and I have such great understanding for each other and communication skills that we worked through a lot of this before it got too bad. Some of their situations are already bitter and resentful, but they give great advice.

3. My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. I have not read this book yet, but its next in line. If you haven't read Proverbs 31, go read it. I strive to live up to the woman described in the Bible. I try to read it every day and I am constantly praying that God give me this kind of spirit and generosity for my family. I can't wait to start this book.

4. Men are Like Waffles Women are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel. I have not read this book either, but its on my list. This book explains the difference between men and women. How we think, act and react to things. I don't know about you, but men are strange and they think we're strange. We could all benefit more to understand where are husbands are coming from before we react in a negative way. Truth is, most of the time, both husbands and wives have the best of intentions that are taken the wrong way because of how we are so different. I want to know my husband more. I want to know how he operates so I can assist in his actions and reactions instead of scolding them.

I have learned so much about me as a person since our son was born. I am strong, independent, efficient, smart, wise, a good mom and a good wife. I still have lots to learn though. I want a 50 year wedding anniversary. Thats our goal. I am constantly reminding myslef of Proverbs 31, remembering that my husband's opinions matter and remembering that he has needs too that I need to make sure I prioritize. In turn, all the things that I worried about and needed from him, fall into place. He cherishes me and wants to give me time to myself to be pampered or shop, he calls me and asks me if he can bring me anything on his way home from work (like chocolate cake), he offers to let me sleep in on weekends, he buys me cute, fun random things just because he is thinking about me. We do not have the perfect marriage and I am not a perfect mom. I work hard at being a wife and a mom (no one said it would always be easy), I learned what was important and how to prioritize, and as a result I am blessed beyond belief with a very healthy, happy marriage and a growing family that is excelling. I hope that anyone and everyone who reads this, can strive to have the same.

One Happy Boy

We have a very happy boy. He is always smiling, and he is only unhappy when he is hungry and we are not feeding him fast enough. Or, he is tired and we are in a situation where his bed isn't readily available. The rest of the time, he is adaptable to almost all events we go to; he tags along like a pro when we run errands; he is patient; and he is agreeable. How do we keep him so easy going? Well it started at the beginning.

I put him on a schedule at about 6 weeks, and I was very strict about making sure he was always comfortable. It wasn't always easy for mommy and daddy, and it sure was inconvenient to us sometimes. It made him comfortable and happy, and during those first few months that was super important. I did, however, try to take him out as much as possible. I got him used to grocery shopping and running errands, so that it would become a familiar thing for him. Then once he knew his schedule and things ran pretty smoothly around here, we could adapt small changes here and there, and he would just go with the flow. I worked first and foremost with his schedule, and in turn, he worked with ours. If we could keep him happy and let him nap or get the rest he needed before we went out and about, then he worked with us. We took him to movies, on our dinner dates, and so forth. With those events, we usually timed his nap well. We would cater to him all morning, give him lunch, then go to a movie and he would sleep through the whole thing. I would put him in my Moby and he was snug and happy. (Moby is a wrap to hold your baby to you. http://www.mobywrap.com/)

Then around 6 months, his schedule changed again. He started sleeping in his own bed. (Prior to this he was in a sling rocker thing next to our bed.  http://www.target.com/p/fisher-price-newborn-rock-n-play-playard-sleeper/-/A-11699689#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink  And remember, we were still living with my husband's parents.) He took two naps a day and was on a pretty regular feeding schedule. He was no longer breast feeding because we had issues with latching. More on our birth story and breast feeding in a different post. So, he was eating solids and drinking formula from a bottle before every nap and bedtime. At around a year, he went down to one nap a day. So here we are today...one nap, bedtime around 7-7:30, no more bottles...and here are my personal rules to keeping a happy boy while I still enjoy getting out and about.

1. I only take him out after he naps and/or eats. His naps vary. Sometimes, he's not tired until the afternoon. Sometimes, he's tired by 10a. So its a toss up as to when he naps. Now, if we are doing something fun that morning, then he is interested enough to stay awake until the afternoon. If he is awake and things are going great that morning, we go grocery shopping. If we are having a bad morning where he is just cranky, then we don't go until either after he eats lunch or after he naps. Keep in mind we play it all by ear, but I read his moods and in turn, he works with me.

2. I always have a snack in the baby bag. Even if he has just eaten lunch, I have a "treat" for him, if he gets fussy. This is probably not the best idea for many reasons. For one, some parents would say I am teaching him to eat while he shops. One might say, I am teaching him, if he gets fussy, he gets a reward. This works for me. So let me say this...if he is antsy, but still being sweet and smiling here and there, then I give him the cookie or whatever. If he is flat out being demanding, disagreeable and so forth, then he gets a "no sir", I talk to him about his behavior and we move on. If it doesn't improve, we leave. Which leads me to #3.

3. If he's being a brat, we leave. There is nothing that is more important than me and my child communicating well and being on the same page. If we are not on the same page, these errands can wait. We will go to the car and talk. If he screams at me there, we go home. If he calms down and listens, we try again.

4. I always treat my 17 month old (almost 18 month old) like he can understand me. I do not pretend anymore that this sweet little dumpling does not understand the things I am saying when he is upset. If he can understand me when he is happy, then he can understand me when he is not. We talk about why we are at the grocery store, why we need food, why we need to know math to get the best deals, etc. I also let him know I understand him. If he's upset, I let him know I get it. I tell him I know he's upset and I try to engage him as to why. "Are you hungry?" "Would you rather be playing?" Then I let him know, that I will give him a snack when we get home (remember, if he is being disagreeable, he doesn't get that "treat" in my bag) or we will play blocks (his favorite) when we get home. Or if its a lost cause, I say "Ok, I get it. Lets go home and we'll do this later." Next time we go, he is a champ because I listened to my toddler and how he felt, even if he can't talk yet. It may be that he really only understands my tone of voice and body language. But, by talking to him as if he understands all the words, we're communicating.

5. Apps. Oh the fun of an iPhone. I swear, my kid knows my phone better than me. Fisher Price has some great apps. They are free, and they don't go dormant. If he hasn't touched it in a minute or two, then the app will talk to him to try to reengage him. Brilliant! He loves them and there are like 7-8 different ones ranging from songs, to counting to animal sounds. He only gets to play with the iPhone when we are out. At home and in the car, it's mommy's phone and he has to ask permission to use it. My phone does NOT belong to him and I try to teach him that daily.

6. Lastly, we have "off" days. If the week or weekend was hectic, then we always have an "off" day. At least once or twice a week, we stay home. We don't go anywhere. I let him nap when he wants to, twice even sometimes. I let him eat or snack when he wants to and we play whatever he wants to. I try to reward him for his awesome behavior while he was being dragged around all weekend doing mommy and daddy stuff, by letting him just have a day to make all the decisions (in moderation) and feel important. Then the next day, we go out again, sometimes to run errands and sometimes to go do something fun. We do swim a lot, go to the library, go eat with daddy at work, etc.

The main point to this blog, is that I had to make some mistakes and struggle to figure out how to have a life, get things done and have a happy kid all at once. I don't always succeed, hence #3, we leave. I will say this, I have only walked out of a store once. I believe this is is because the other rules work well and my son and I communicate well. I try to read my kiddo too. I don't make him do things because I want to, I ask my child to help me find the colors at the grocery store and look for animals on packages while I get my things done. Now, when it comes to him going to bed on time, yes, he does what I say, because it's what's best for him. Parents, I think, have to find a fine line between making their kid do something because they know whats best and working with their kid to adapt to running errands and doing things that don't have to be done at that minute, but can be done.

I am not saying that I have it all figured out. Please understand that we are learning from each other daily. What interests him today may not tomorrow. I am always having to find new ways to adapt to him so that he can adapt to me and my lifestyle. I am able to go have lunch with friends and go to the mall, all with a happy, agreeable baby. Then, we go do something fun for him, like the park. Lastly, as rule #6 says, we then have an off day. All this combined makes for a great kid who is so wonderful. I hope that baby #2 will be just as easy going because we try to tune into her. Until next time...

This was our little one at 7 months. Our pumpkin.

Loving it

So as promised, I told you that I would start talking about being a stay at home mom more. Not that dealing with sick dogs and babies doesn't qualify, but its time to move on to other things. Incidentally, we all caught the cold this week from our son. And he has an ear infection. But we are all healing and dealing with it. I have to admit that staying home and taking care of him is so rewarding. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.

Anyway, when we first moved here and I had just quit my job, we were living with his parents while we built our house. So being a stay at home mom really didn't sink in until we moved out and were finally on our own. Our son was 6 months old then and I had to figure out how to take care of this baby and a house and all that comes with that pretty quickly. After the unpacking, I started thinking how can I make this fun? I certainly didn't want to get swallowed up by daily chores and daily baby needs that I lost myself or my sense of identity. I mean, if I surrendered to every mess, every piece of item left out of place, every little re-organizing task and projects around the house, I would be consumed by this house. I would definitely be lost and feeling like I want to be at work and then feeling guilt by that for not wanting to be home with my kid. I am sure many of you moms out there struggle with this concept. Some woman working feel bad they aren't at home or can't be at home and women at home feel like "I wish I was still working at a job I was really good at" and then feeling guilty that we are not just over joyed to be here with the little ones. I know some women have a much better grasp on this than me, but for me, I didn't want to feel guilty. So I decided to treat this stay at home job as a job. At least the house chores part of it. So this how I have managed to love what I do and not feel like I should be anywhere else.

Monday:
Laundry gets done and put away (every week I try to do all sheets and bedding as well)

Tuesday:
vaccuum

Wednesday:
Dust

Thursday:
Clean bathrooms

Friday:
Deep clean kitchen
During the summer, our dogs shed a lot, so I vaccuum again

Daily chores:
Load and/or unload the dishwasher with the dishes from the night before
Make beds
Keep kitchen and living room picked up
Pick up around office, bedrooms, just the house in general

Thats it. Every two weeks, I do extra's that I see is needed. I mop every couple weeks. My HUGE pet peeve is sticky (yes I know I have kids and I can't help the sticky) but the reason I only need to mop every couple weeks, is because I am constantly on my hands and knees cleaning up dropped food, spills, splatters and any sticky spot I see daily. I clean our white stone fire place every couple weeks because my little 17 month old loves to walk on it and so it gets dirty...and its white! Why didn't I think more about that when I was choosing colors?

As for errands, those are done on an as needed, hows the kid today basis. If we are having an off day, then the grocery store can wait. I NEVER subject my kid to errands if he is not happy. I only do errands after breakfast or lunch, when he is well fed, well rested and happy. Believe me, if you take this approach, you will never be THAT mom who is in the store with a screaming baby. We try to do errands a couple days a week. More on my baby rules and how I manage to have a happy baby nearly 24/7 in the next blog.

I do have my house rules for me.
1. I stop working when my husband gets home, or if he gets home early, I stop working after dinner. I usually start dinner while my son eats his dinner and we eat after he goes to bed or while he plays in the living room. So, we rinse our dishes from dinner and the pots and pans and leave them. I know for some people, this is unthinkable, but I can deal with dishes in my sink over night mainly because I feel like quality time with my family is more important than the dishes when I know I can get to them first thing the next morning. And it HAS to be first thing or it does drive me crazy.

2. No chores after our son goes to bed. I do pick up toys in our living room but thats just so we don't trip as we are walking through at night.

3. No chores on weekends, with the exception of dishes since I do love to cook. Here's the thing: laundry piles up, dust collects, dog's shed, clothes aren't put away, my husband is notorious for leaving socks and shoes everywhere, and this, plus many other things, can and WILL get dealt with on Monday. The weekend, I am off. Just like with my old job (I worked 4-10's, meaning I would work 7a-6p Mon-Thurs when I did work) I quit when its quitting time and I start the next morning when its go time.

4. I clean and do each chore usually when my son goes down for his nap. He helps me with laundry and making the beds sometimes, but everything else, when he sleeps, I clean. When he is awake, he has my full attention. Which is why, when he eats, the kitchen gets picked up and dinners and lunches get made.

By doing this and making a schedule for me, I have been able to not feel like I work a job that is ongoing 24/7. I mean, I already have a little boy who needs me from about 7:30a-7:30p and right there, thats a 12 hour day. It may not always be difficult since he is so happy and such an amazing kid, but we do have off days, where he's not happy with just doing this or that, so I have to get creative and find new things for him to do. When we have days like that, 12 hours seems like 100 hours and I am ready for bed at 8. :) So by allowing my house chores and duties to stop at 7p and on weekends, I can relax knowing that my house is always well taken care of, just in due time. In the meantime, I spend time with my son out and about doing fun things and spend quality time with my husband after our little pumpkin is tucked away at night. Everyone in the house is taken care of, has time for them and I have time for me once the chores are done and he's taking an extra long nap.

On weekends, it gives me a chance to let daddy and son bond while I got get a pedicure or a massage or, hey just go in the other room and watch food network or blog without a cute little kid trying to type with me or change my channel to Mickey Mouse. And the best part, is I never feel guilty that I should be cleaning or doing something productive because I know I already planned to get everything done...starting Monday.

I close this entry by saying that I love where I am today. I love everything about staying home and I love my house (my messy on weekends, but really clean during the week house). I am not a perfectionist and I am no Martha Stewart, but I am a mom who wants and needs a clean house in moderation. I am a full time, fully committed mom when my son is awake and as a result, our son is happy, adapts well to things and is overall very well adjusted. I take pride in this because I feel like I try really hard to give him attention and independence at our own pace and he doesn't just get independence because I'm doing a chore, its because I let him go off and explore and discover and play by himself while I watch from a far. I hope that for any moms out there who feel overwhelmed, can learn to take each chore and each day, one chore and day at a time. Learn to relax, really take time for yourself because you have enough going on and you are already stretched way too thin. So regroup and enjoy the long naps by reading a book for you and enjoy weekends by actually taking them off and doing something fun.

**Quick side note: I will be having another baby in November. And these two kids may not nap at the same time. So for now, take everything I wrote into consideration that I have one kid...who still naps. As I learn how to adjust with kid #2, I will update my methods and schedule!

Life

I am aware of the fact that it has been awhile since I have written. At least longer than I wanted it to go. Its funny how my last blog entry talked about all the daily stresses in our life and yet here I am again with more. Its crazy, but it seems that life just keeps piling it on. My son finally got rid of his virus that was causing spots just to catch a cold this weekend.

A note on how he caught that...we went to the lake this weekend and stayed at my husbands parents lake house where we invited some friends. Some new and some old. We had a great time, but one of my husbands long time friends brought his wife and 2 kids, ages 4 and 1. I guess once they got out there they started sneezing and coughing and getting sick. I totally understand that parents can't control when their children get sick, but they can control how they let them interact with other kids. My kid was playing with them and I had him wash his hands alot but on Sunday, he was playing with the 4 year old while his mom was feeding the 1 year old and the kid started coughing in my kids face. I asked politely if he could cover his mouth when he coughed, but he continued to cough without doing so. Mom knew what was going on, because she was only a few feet away, but she didn't say anything. My son had a runny nose yesterday and woke up with a fever today. But seriously, if my kid were getting sick, I would tell the other mom, I would try to keep my kid from making contact with the other kids and I would disinfect everything because I would feel bad if my kid passed it along. But I digress...

Then our stupid lab got hurt again! She already had stitches for a gash she got outside that were removed a month ago. Then Sunday night, she was outside, playing fetch and came in with another gash. We have no idea how that happened! We were watching the whole time and yet again, she got another tear. We took her to the vet yesterday and she had to get stitches again. And this time the tear is on her hind leg, so the poor thing has to wear a cone. Its really sad but kind of funny to watch her try to maneuver around our house. She bumps everything and she was already a clumsy dog to start.

But, aside from all the hard things in life, we still get blessings and they are everywhere. I am now 25 weeks along in this pregnancy and loving every minute. She is so active and kicks all the time. My husband was able to take off today when he found out our son was sick and stayed home to be with him all day. What a sweet and doting husband! It also gave me time today to go and find things for our little girls room. I found a beautiful bird that has the perfect colors to match her room theme and I finialized the bedding today online and will be ordering it soon too. I also decided on doing chevron on one wall of yellow and blue, while the rest of the room will be yellow. I will have accents of pink throughout the room. After all she is a girl! I promise pictures once things start going up. And once we finalize our sons room, I will post pics as well.

I will say that even though we have things that happen to us that get in the way of a smooth life, I continue to see how blessed we really are. Our baby is healthy, our son is still in high spirits even though he is sick, I have a husband who wants to be involved at home and be here for me and we have a beautiful home that I am proud to say I decorated and custom designed! I do try to keep it clean on a daily basis but then there are sick days where I can't seem to get anything done because I have this cute kid hanging on me. There is nothing that can't wait when you have something that adorable that wants you. The way I look at it, is someday he will be in college and he won't want a hug when he is sick, so the laundry can wait, the beds can get made tomorrow, the vaccuuming can get done another day.

So to everyone reading this, I promise I will talk more about being a stay at home mom and tips and tricks I have discovered. For now though, I have a cone head dog that needs attention, a sick son who needs loving and a husband who needs some thanking since he did stay home to help today. Until next time...

Daily Stress

Its funny how life is full of daily stresses. It seems we have had our fair share of them the last few weeks too. My husband and I have managed to stay on top of it though and get through it together as a team. We like to refer to ourselves as "Team Ray". Team Ray has certainly been challeneged with our lab having to get stitches, our son got diagnosed with erythema multiform, our house got invaded by ants, our german shepherd had a hip issue and then we had a car not start yesterday morning. All in all, we have managed to deal with what's been given us and taken it all with a grain of salt. Sort of...everything except our kid getting this virus. Its really not that big of deal...let me explain...

He woke up one morning with a couple bumps on his knees. They looked like little bug bites or mosquito bites all clustered together. They didn't seem to bother him though. He didn't touch them or notice them. Then as the day wore on, I started noticing those bumps showing up on his ankles and arms, then wrists. So I called the Dr. They said it sounded like an allergic reaction and just to watch him, make sure his breathing was consistant and so forth. Then after lunch, I was on my way home and he started getting fussy in the back seat. It was nap time, so no big deal. Then he started crying more and I thought, he's just tired. But when I got home and went in the backseat to get him, his face had these bumps all over him. I freaked out, called the dr on my way to the dr and they said to stop and get some benadryl, which I did and as soon as he took it, he looked better and he passed out. On to the Dr I went and when I got there they said it sounded like erythema multiform and it was a virus that was not contageous but caused bumps on him. There is also no medication to treat it except the benadryl to make the bumps go away and tylenol if he got a fever as a result. They said it could last up to a week. We were at a week as of yesterday and he only gets a couple bumps here and there and they usually go away on there own. All is good now in the Ray household. So to all the mommy's out there whose kid has been or gets diagnosed with this virus, its worse than it sounds and it will go away...eventually.

Anyway, aside from these stresses alot of fun things are happening in this house too! We are getting ready to start working on the nursery once we get the odds and ends and the bed out! And I have a TON of ideas...all of course, thanks to Pinterest. I absolutely cannot wait to get started. Then we are moving our son to a big boy bed, hopefully this weekend, and then doing some new things in his room. I want to make it a little boys room instead of a baby's room. I am both sad and excited all at once. My little dude is growing up, and I am so proud of him, but I still love his baby room and am a little sad we are transitioning. So first things first, getting the rocking chair and table out of his room.  I think I am going to move two cute little rocking chairs in his room and put them next to some bookshelves which I am going to put on the wall so he can have a reading nook! Pictures will come soon. As for baby #2's room, I think the theme is going to be love birds. So I am going to make some felt birds to make a mobile and frame some birds in shadow boxes to match her color scheme! Lots and lots of pictures to come. Of course there will be some trial and error too I am sure, but I will learn how to sew those felt love birds if its the last thing I do...and it very well might be. I might be able to cook, decorate, organize and be efficient...but sewing is not something I am good at.

I will post pictures as I complete these tasks, but on my end note, I wanted to share a recipe that I discovered and I am so excited about. I cannot eat cream cheese because it makes my stomach hurt for whatever reason, but cheesecake is my absolute most favorite dessert. So I found a recipe that does not use cream cheese but greek yogurt. I modified it some and wish to share.

Greek yogurt Cheesecake

1 16 oz container of greek yogurt (I used organic)
1 package of jell-o cheesecake flavor
3/4 cup of milk
4 tablespoons melted butter
5-6 graham crackers

Crush the graham crackers in a zip lock bag, pour the melted butter in and mix well. Then press them into 12 cupcake liners or a pie dish. Set aside. Then mix the yogurt and cheesecake mix together until incorporated well, then add the milk. Pour into the cupcake liners or the pie dish and let it set up in the fridge for a couple of hours. I topped mine with strawberries, but you could use any fruit you wanted or eat it plain! It was delicious and so simple! I hope everyone who tries it enjoys it.

And on a side note to show how incredibly blessed our family is, the lab's stitches were removed and she is fine, the ants were taken care of and were only here for a few days and have been gone for over a week now, our son is just fine, our german shepherd went to the vet, got some medicine and pills and is walking a lot better now, and the car that wouldn't start just had a battery issue, nothing else. Thank you Lord for taking care of this family even if the stress seems to be too much at times. Until next time...