I know it has been awhile since I have posted, but things got a little crazy around here. First off, our little girl was born on November 5, 6 lbs 14 oz and 20 in long. I had contractions for days before she was born, so we were on pins and needles waiting for her for almost a week. Her birth story will be the next post. I did have her all naturally and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done...but the most rewarding. More details to come later.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I stayed in today with our little one while my husband and our son went to the family thanksgiving. I wanted to let everyone know that we are still here and we are doing well. She is sleeping well at night for the most part, but she wakes up at least twice at night and with a toddler, I don't get a lot of rest during the day. Today was a nice break for me and I got to have some girl time.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great holiday and blogging will start back up now that things are coming together a little around here. Until next time...
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Ready for fall
I know it has been a few weeks since I last wrote. We have been busy. First off, my husband and I went to Santa Fe kid free! It was amazing and our last get away alone before this little girl comes. Being in the mountains with the cooler weather made me ready for fall.
This fall is exciting for us this year with the little one arriving. It just makes it more enjoyable. I cannot wait to cuddle up with a newborn next to a fire. Among all the awesome freezer crockpot meals I will be making, will be some yummy fall soups. Once I start putting them together I will share the recipes. I did make an apple pie two days ago and it is delicious! I am still eating on it. Recipe is as follows:
Crust:
2 1/4 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cups shortening
8-10 tablespoons cold water
1 egg
sugar and cinnamon for the top
Mix the flour, salt, and shortening together using a pastry blender or a fork, until the shortening is about pea sized. Then add cold water a couple tablespoons at a time just until the crust is getting moist and can stay together. Then roll it into two balls. On a floured surface, roll the crust out into a circle that will fit the pie dish you are using. Place one in the dish, fill with the apple filling and then put the top on. Pinch the edges together, trim any excess dough off and cut slits in the top to vent. I then brushed it with an egg wash and sprinkled cinnamon and suger on top.
Pie filling:
6 cups thinly, sliced apples; peeled
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
Mix the apples with the lemon juice. In a seperate bowl, mix all other ingredients until well combined. Then add the apples and toss to coat. Pour in dish and top with crust. Bake at 375 degrees for about 40 minutes. I put foil on the edge of my crust for the 40 minutes. Depending on your oven, you may need to uncover after 40 minutes and continue baking until golden brown.
Thats it! I would have taken a picture, but I dove into it pretty soon after it was out of the oven.
The fall wreath is out on my door, the pumpkin decorations are out in my house and the fall cooking has begun! It may still be in the 80's and 90's most days, but in this house, its fall.
I hope everyone has a great week and a wonderful fall this year. I intend on eating lots of yummy soups, sitting by a fire, drinking hot chocolate, enjoying 2 of the most amazing and beautiful kids around, and spending lots of curled up movie time with my husband. Until next time...
This fall is exciting for us this year with the little one arriving. It just makes it more enjoyable. I cannot wait to cuddle up with a newborn next to a fire. Among all the awesome freezer crockpot meals I will be making, will be some yummy fall soups. Once I start putting them together I will share the recipes. I did make an apple pie two days ago and it is delicious! I am still eating on it. Recipe is as follows:
Crust:
2 1/4 cups flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
2/3 cups shortening
8-10 tablespoons cold water
1 egg
sugar and cinnamon for the top
Mix the flour, salt, and shortening together using a pastry blender or a fork, until the shortening is about pea sized. Then add cold water a couple tablespoons at a time just until the crust is getting moist and can stay together. Then roll it into two balls. On a floured surface, roll the crust out into a circle that will fit the pie dish you are using. Place one in the dish, fill with the apple filling and then put the top on. Pinch the edges together, trim any excess dough off and cut slits in the top to vent. I then brushed it with an egg wash and sprinkled cinnamon and suger on top.
Pie filling:
6 cups thinly, sliced apples; peeled
1 tablespoon lemon juice
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons flour
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
Mix the apples with the lemon juice. In a seperate bowl, mix all other ingredients until well combined. Then add the apples and toss to coat. Pour in dish and top with crust. Bake at 375 degrees for about 40 minutes. I put foil on the edge of my crust for the 40 minutes. Depending on your oven, you may need to uncover after 40 minutes and continue baking until golden brown.
Thats it! I would have taken a picture, but I dove into it pretty soon after it was out of the oven.
The fall wreath is out on my door, the pumpkin decorations are out in my house and the fall cooking has begun! It may still be in the 80's and 90's most days, but in this house, its fall.
I hope everyone has a great week and a wonderful fall this year. I intend on eating lots of yummy soups, sitting by a fire, drinking hot chocolate, enjoying 2 of the most amazing and beautiful kids around, and spending lots of curled up movie time with my husband. Until next time...
Sunday, September 9, 2012
9 weeks to go...
Well, we will be at 31 weeks tomorrow. I can't believe this has flown by. It seems that with this baby, the time has gone by so fast because I have been so preoccupied with a little tot. With my first, I was counting down the days and couldn't wait. I analyzed every move, every milestone and it seemed that 9 months lasted over a year! But with #2, I have to think about what week we are at. I have to admit its been a lot easier though. Not worrying and being frantic about every little thing has been nice.
We got the twin mattress for our son and transitioned him onto a bigger bed last night. He did so well. I have to admit and brag a little, that he has taken all the changes like a champ. I have read that toddlers have a hard time with change. I have had some experience with this, but for the most part everything that we do, he has adapted to so well. I do my best to take changes with ease so that he will see that its no big deal. When things happen that we did not plan on, my husband and I try to take it in stride and act like its no big deal so our little guy doesn't worry too. Believe me, at times, that is hard for us. So when we gave him the big bed, we didn't even acknowledge it was a big deal. We just did the same routine and put him to bed like normal and he hasn't complained a bit. I could not be more proud of him.
My advice to moms with toddlers is this: go with the flow with a happy attitude even if it's hard. Our kids watch us and every time I am stressed or upset, my toddler can see that and he gets hard to deal with. This makes me more agitated and it leads to a cycle that neither him or I needed. Instead, I have tried to let my frustrations go, let our kid know why we are doing something different or what the plan is and do my best to distract him to make the situation easier. I will say this may not always work all the time, but I have had some great success most of the time.
Anyway, we have 9 weeks to go and if she comes like her brother, she will be here in 7 weeks instead. That makes me so happy. I can't wait to have another baby to hold and cuddle with. Her nursery is complete now that she has the mattress and our household is getting ready for her. I am getting the freezer crockpot meals list together, the freezer is getting cleaned out daily, Christmas presents are being made, and mentally I am getting prepared to have this baby naturally. I do believe she will be here a couple weeks early too because I am starting to get very uncomfortable. By the time I started feeling uncomfortable with our son, he was ready too because a week later, there he was. I understand that with your second, you feel things sooner and more intensely, so this feeling is going to last a little while. Truthfully though, I'm ok with it because it means we are just that much more closer to becoming a family of four!
We got the twin mattress for our son and transitioned him onto a bigger bed last night. He did so well. I have to admit and brag a little, that he has taken all the changes like a champ. I have read that toddlers have a hard time with change. I have had some experience with this, but for the most part everything that we do, he has adapted to so well. I do my best to take changes with ease so that he will see that its no big deal. When things happen that we did not plan on, my husband and I try to take it in stride and act like its no big deal so our little guy doesn't worry too. Believe me, at times, that is hard for us. So when we gave him the big bed, we didn't even acknowledge it was a big deal. We just did the same routine and put him to bed like normal and he hasn't complained a bit. I could not be more proud of him.
My advice to moms with toddlers is this: go with the flow with a happy attitude even if it's hard. Our kids watch us and every time I am stressed or upset, my toddler can see that and he gets hard to deal with. This makes me more agitated and it leads to a cycle that neither him or I needed. Instead, I have tried to let my frustrations go, let our kid know why we are doing something different or what the plan is and do my best to distract him to make the situation easier. I will say this may not always work all the time, but I have had some great success most of the time.
Anyway, we have 9 weeks to go and if she comes like her brother, she will be here in 7 weeks instead. That makes me so happy. I can't wait to have another baby to hold and cuddle with. Her nursery is complete now that she has the mattress and our household is getting ready for her. I am getting the freezer crockpot meals list together, the freezer is getting cleaned out daily, Christmas presents are being made, and mentally I am getting prepared to have this baby naturally. I do believe she will be here a couple weeks early too because I am starting to get very uncomfortable. By the time I started feeling uncomfortable with our son, he was ready too because a week later, there he was. I understand that with your second, you feel things sooner and more intensely, so this feeling is going to last a little while. Truthfully though, I'm ok with it because it means we are just that much more closer to becoming a family of four!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Baby and Toddler
Well, we successfully went to Chicago and got home safely. Our kiddo was amazing. He adapted so well and did so good. He stayed up late with us and was such a trooper. We had one melt down the entire trip and it was understandable. But overall, a great trip. Our favorite pic was this one.
We would go to this park on the river across from our hotel and he would just watch the boats go by! We had such a relaxing, fun trip.
And since we have been back, the nursery has had a total transformation. It looks amazing. We got the painter in and they did a great job. Then the bedding came in the next day. All thats left is something to hang over the dresser and getting the mattress in there. We need to get the twin mattress for our son to sleep on and then we can move his current bed into the nursery. Here is are some of the pictures. I absolutely love it! Which is good because the nesting bug has hit hard.
I got silk flowers and took off the stem and the center part and then used the hole they already had to fit over the screw and then screwed the knobs on. I think it adds a little girly touch to a dresser that she can use for a long time. Thank you Pinterest for the idea!
And since we have been back, the nursery has had a total transformation. It looks amazing. We got the painter in and they did a great job. Then the bedding came in the next day. All thats left is something to hang over the dresser and getting the mattress in there. We need to get the twin mattress for our son to sleep on and then we can move his current bed into the nursery. Here is are some of the pictures. I absolutely love it! Which is good because the nesting bug has hit hard.
I got silk flowers and took off the stem and the center part and then used the hole they already had to fit over the screw and then screwed the knobs on. I think it adds a little girly touch to a dresser that she can use for a long time. Thank you Pinterest for the idea!
The drapes are on the back of the chair. We need to hang them. I love the crib wall. her colors are yellow, turquoise, pink, light green and touches of red. The fabric is below and will better show how all these colors tie in.
The theme is love birds and chevron.
The canvas I made for her.
Here is the fabric. Its got so many colors in it and I love that its not all pink.
I have never been big into pink. I do have a pink purse and pink tennis shoes, but it wasn't until I was in my 20's did I really start to embrace the color some. Either way, I have never been super girly, so I tried to have a room that you would know there was a girl that was going to be living there, but it wasn't full of what my husband calls: frosting. Frosting is ruffles, pink, pink, pink and flair. Anyway, thats the nursery that I am so proud of.
In other baby news, I met with our doula yesterday and everytime I talk to her I am amazed at how awesome she is. We worked on relaxation and within 5 min my mind was quiet and I was at peace. I had a massage 3 days ago for an hour and a half and I didn't stop thinking once. So her work is awesome. The goal is to practice these techniques. I hope to have an all natural childbirth although, we will be in a hospital and if it turns out I can't bear it, all medical options are available. I know this sounds crazy, but I am excited about having this baby. Not having a baby (which I am of course ecstatic about) but actually going through the process of having this baby. I can't wait to be in labor again and work with my body to have a smooth, drug free labor. I understand complications can arise, and I am on board with having drugs if needed, but hopefully everything will work out and I won't need them. My poor husband thinks I have jumped off the deep end. He believes in the ability for medicine to help someone and you should use it if it'll make you comfortable. I get that. I love him for wanting me comfortable, but he is also trying to support me doing this naturally too. I think he is of two minds and isn't sure where he falls yet. I love that he's my partner and will be going through this with me. He is always so good in intense situations. It seems as if he has everything together and appears calm. Especially with my first delivery, he was amazing, so no matter what I choose for this birth, I know he will do his best to comfort me, support me, and stay calm through it all. The main reason I want to do this naturally is so I can move around. I liked standing up last time. It helped so much. I didn't know that after you get an epidural, you are down for the count. So ladies remember that!
As for my toddler, he seems to be changing daily. His eating habits are getting so weird. He has become very picky and what he used to love, he now doesn't want. Feeding him has become somewhat of a challenge. I am still trying to get fruits and vegetables in his diet so I have had to get very creative. For one, I started making smoothies and then holding the cup and letting him play and then come get a drink every minute or so. He thinks its "mommy's drink", and he's getting a treat. What he doesn't know is that it is his drink and he is getting spinach and banana's which he won't touch whether its on his plate or anyone else's. I also have been sneaking pears and apples into his grilled cheeses. Hey, people pair fruit and cheese all the time right? Why not do it in a grilled cheese. He loves it and eats every bite. I also puree broccoli and peas and mix it with mayonnaise and use it as a spread. I do not add fruit if I use that. I also put spinach leaves on the grilled cheese too. It may not sound appetizing to you, but he sure loves it and I am getting my son nutrition even if he is eating the same thing every day.
On another note, he is getting to be so big. He still sleeps on his mattress on the floor without getting up. He goes to bed when we tell him, and when I say I am leaving and kiss him goodnight, he lays down and is quiet. He rarely cries anymore when I leave the room. Philip and I are very good about letting him know what we are doing and why and I think that helps. After we read him a book, we tell him he can read it on his own as long as he wants but it's time for mommy or daddy (whoever is in there) to leave. We also tell him we will be there for him if he needs anything that night. Sometimes he keeps reading and lays down later, sometimes he lays down right away. Either way he hardly ever cries when we get up to leave. In the mornings he stays right there on that bed until we get him. He usually wakes up between 7:15-7:45 and we don't get him until around 8. He never complains, and he doesn't get off the bed. He will grab a paci that rolled off or a book he wants, but he gets right back on and he stays. I can't believe that we have such an easy going kid who is becoming so independent.
My world is going to change when I have both a baby and my toddler, but I am so excited. I can't wait to have a baby that will sleep in my arms again. And then when she's asleep, I am going to love talking to my toddler who understands me and can commnunicate with me. I get the best of both worlds. I get that I will get the trying times as well, but thats what prayer, God, and patience is for. I will survive, and at night and on weekends, I have this awesome partner that will help. Lets just say that right now, life is good and I am so thankful. Until next time...
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Our birth story
We are planning to leave tomorrow to go to Chicago and will be there until the weekend. I figure with a big trip coming and all the things that will need to get done once we get back, I better blog now while I have the time. So as promised, here is our delightful birth story.
Lets start with my husband. He is such a planner and organizer. He likes to have things ready and at least two or three different plans and routes in case we run into problems. He always prepares for at least 1-3 problems in every major event so that when these issues arise, its nothing he can't expect, handle and effectively deal with. I married up girls! So his idea was to have a phone tree. Once we knew we were heading to the hospital, he would have one or two people he called who would call three people and call more people and so on. This way everyone we wanted to know would know with us not having to do much. I say us, I meant, him. :) As of 37 weeks, he still had not made that list.
Continuing with my husband's part of this amazing story...we still had not sold our house in Georgetown, TX. We moved from Georgetown to Dallas when I was 7 months pregnant and had put our house on the market there. We had showings, but no buyers. Finally, someone took the bite when I was around 35-36 weeks pregnant. All of our stuff was still there because our house was staged. All we took when we moved was the essentials. So to complicate things, I am now 38 weeks pregnant and our house sold and there is still no phone tree. I told my husband early that week around 38 weeks, that he better start making that list because I felt different. I felt like my body was tired and done carrying this kid because we were running out of room and fast. He did make that phone tree and two days later he had to go move us out of our house in Georgetown and into a storage shed in Dallas. This was his weekend...
He didn't want me leaving Dallas County in case I did go into labor. We didn't really want to be 3 hours away and not be anywhere near our new doctor and hospital. And really what use would I have been? I couldn't lift anything, I could barely bend over and I would have just been in the way. (my husband and I have a very different idea on how to move, so with me out of the way, it was easier on him) On thursday night, he left. He spent pretty much all night Thurday packing and all day and into the night Friday packing our entire two story, 4 bedroom, 2800 sq ft home all by himself. Bless his heart! (I told you girls, I married well) Then his parents left me and went to help him on Saturday. We had relatives on stand by for me. They packed the rest up and the movers came that afternoon to load. They finished loading late Saturday and so the movers decided not to come until first thing Sunday morning. Philip and his parents got home very late Saturday night and exhausted. Sunday morning, he got up, we went to storage, met the movers and spent all day playing tetris in a storage shed that ended up being barely the right size. To top that off, it was on the second floor. We still had cars loaded with stuff, so all that had to get unloaded somewhere too. He was so exhausted Sunday and was finally done. Which leads me to that night...
My husband had not really rested or slept in 3 nights now and he was running on E. We decided to take a break, watch a movie and go to bed early. We finished dinner and I went upstairs to start the movie while he talked to his parents a bit. I started feeling contractions. I thought it was false labor since I was only 38 weeks along and they say that your first is often late. So I ignored them and kept on watching TV. They persisted so I started timing them. They went from every 5 min to every 2 min. Philip finally came upstairs and said, "are you crying?" I said, "no, why?" Apparently I looked as if I was crying. He claims to this day I was, but I don't think so. He asked what was wrong and I said I am just having false labor, no big deal. He told me to time them and I said I had and told him about the progression. He went and got his mom who came in and asked as well. She used to work for a dr. They both started timing me and staring at me. I was like, hey its not happening now, I'm fine. After a few minutes he said he would feel better if I called the dr. It was 9:30p at this point. So I called and they said if you keep having these contractions after a full hour, come in. At this point it had been going on for 30 minutes. At 10, we got in the car. Everyone was excited but I still thought this was false labor. We get to the hospital, they admitted me into triage around 10:15pm. And then the big contractions started.
I was actually telling my husband to find the nurse because I wanted an epidural right then. I didn't know you had to wait until you were officially admitted into labor and delivery to get the epidural and standard proceedure was to be in triage for at least 2 hours. 2 hours?! With sharp pain? And all I can do is lay there. Oh no, no...not a good thing for a woman who is used to moving around when she doesn't feel good and hurts. The nurse asked me to remember what I learned in my birthing class. Birthing class? Hahaha, oh wait...I didn't take one. ;) I figured I would play it by ear. I am a very naive woman. I did not play it by ear. I was only dialated to a 2 I think. It might have been a 4. I don't remember, I just know that I must have been a huge pain because after only on hour or so, she admitted me.
We were admitted around 11pm. I got a lovely epidural around 1am and things seemed great for the first few hours. My husband laid down on a roll away bed and got some sleep...finally. It was great, I didn't feel a thing. Except I was HUNGRY! I mean, bite my arm off starving. My husband (the planner he is) told me to eat on the way and I said we will be in and out, its not labor, but it was and I didn't get any food. I should have listened. I was stuck at 4 (dialated to a 4) for a long time. Then around 5-6am, I started feeling contractions. The epidural appeared to be wearing off. Not good for a women who doesn't like pain and this pain was 5x what it was a few hours before in triage. So the nurse called the anethesiologist who gave me another dose. 30 minutes later, I was feeling contractions. We did this over and over and over. By 7:30am everything was a blur. I had been dosed with so much epidural, the nurse said I could have had a C-section with that amount and not felt anything and I was still feeling everything. My husband quit sleeping long before this because I was in so much pain. I was also still dialated to a 4. They gave me pitocin (which speeds things up) and everything just went crazy from there. The dr checked me and said that I was good and I should start dialating one centemeter per hour, so he would be back at lunch. Lunch?! Remember I was still starving. I told the nurse if I had to wait until lunch, I would for sure faint once I started pushing.
On a side note, the dr I chose whom I loved and was so comfortable with, was skiing that weekend. So I had another Dr whom I did not know and did not want. Two actually. One throughout the night and one at shift change at 7am. I was not very serene with the dr who told me I couldn't eat. Plus, we had hit Valentines day. Thats right, this was all the night before Valentines day and the morning of. Apparently there are a lot of women who schedule to be induced on this night so they can have Valentine babies. I saw the first dr a few times who was just checking in with us. The second dr I saw twice. Once to say hi and once to catch the baby. It was not a very personal experience with my dr.
Anyway, the epidural wasn't working. So the nurse decided to have the supervisor of the anethesiologists (all 6 of them that came in to up my dose) come in and do it again. They found that it was in too low. Given my size, they were just off and so they had to do it again. The rest happened so quickly. They didn't kick Philip out for this epidural because it all needed to happen quickly and he didn't have time to leave. They usually kick the husbands out because of the size of the needle. More husbands faint from that than the delivery. Philip was holding my head and telling me to breathe. The nurse was putting pressure on my stomach to calm the contractions and the dude is giving me an epidural all when I tell the nurse, "Something bounced!" Yep, I felt something. The other nurse who had come in for shift change blew me off and said nothing bounced honey. I said, "No, it did!". The nurse (the one I had all night) told everyone to stop and for me to lay down and sure enough, there was a head. I had gone from 4-10 centimeters in like 45 minutes. And I felt it all! The epidural was done at this point and was starting to kick in, the nurse ran after the dr who came in and said to push. I pushed twice and our baby was born at 8:31am Valentines day morning. I was totally numb and happy at this point.
Lets start with my husband. He is such a planner and organizer. He likes to have things ready and at least two or three different plans and routes in case we run into problems. He always prepares for at least 1-3 problems in every major event so that when these issues arise, its nothing he can't expect, handle and effectively deal with. I married up girls! So his idea was to have a phone tree. Once we knew we were heading to the hospital, he would have one or two people he called who would call three people and call more people and so on. This way everyone we wanted to know would know with us not having to do much. I say us, I meant, him. :) As of 37 weeks, he still had not made that list.
Continuing with my husband's part of this amazing story...we still had not sold our house in Georgetown, TX. We moved from Georgetown to Dallas when I was 7 months pregnant and had put our house on the market there. We had showings, but no buyers. Finally, someone took the bite when I was around 35-36 weeks pregnant. All of our stuff was still there because our house was staged. All we took when we moved was the essentials. So to complicate things, I am now 38 weeks pregnant and our house sold and there is still no phone tree. I told my husband early that week around 38 weeks, that he better start making that list because I felt different. I felt like my body was tired and done carrying this kid because we were running out of room and fast. He did make that phone tree and two days later he had to go move us out of our house in Georgetown and into a storage shed in Dallas. This was his weekend...
He didn't want me leaving Dallas County in case I did go into labor. We didn't really want to be 3 hours away and not be anywhere near our new doctor and hospital. And really what use would I have been? I couldn't lift anything, I could barely bend over and I would have just been in the way. (my husband and I have a very different idea on how to move, so with me out of the way, it was easier on him) On thursday night, he left. He spent pretty much all night Thurday packing and all day and into the night Friday packing our entire two story, 4 bedroom, 2800 sq ft home all by himself. Bless his heart! (I told you girls, I married well) Then his parents left me and went to help him on Saturday. We had relatives on stand by for me. They packed the rest up and the movers came that afternoon to load. They finished loading late Saturday and so the movers decided not to come until first thing Sunday morning. Philip and his parents got home very late Saturday night and exhausted. Sunday morning, he got up, we went to storage, met the movers and spent all day playing tetris in a storage shed that ended up being barely the right size. To top that off, it was on the second floor. We still had cars loaded with stuff, so all that had to get unloaded somewhere too. He was so exhausted Sunday and was finally done. Which leads me to that night...
My husband had not really rested or slept in 3 nights now and he was running on E. We decided to take a break, watch a movie and go to bed early. We finished dinner and I went upstairs to start the movie while he talked to his parents a bit. I started feeling contractions. I thought it was false labor since I was only 38 weeks along and they say that your first is often late. So I ignored them and kept on watching TV. They persisted so I started timing them. They went from every 5 min to every 2 min. Philip finally came upstairs and said, "are you crying?" I said, "no, why?" Apparently I looked as if I was crying. He claims to this day I was, but I don't think so. He asked what was wrong and I said I am just having false labor, no big deal. He told me to time them and I said I had and told him about the progression. He went and got his mom who came in and asked as well. She used to work for a dr. They both started timing me and staring at me. I was like, hey its not happening now, I'm fine. After a few minutes he said he would feel better if I called the dr. It was 9:30p at this point. So I called and they said if you keep having these contractions after a full hour, come in. At this point it had been going on for 30 minutes. At 10, we got in the car. Everyone was excited but I still thought this was false labor. We get to the hospital, they admitted me into triage around 10:15pm. And then the big contractions started.
I was actually telling my husband to find the nurse because I wanted an epidural right then. I didn't know you had to wait until you were officially admitted into labor and delivery to get the epidural and standard proceedure was to be in triage for at least 2 hours. 2 hours?! With sharp pain? And all I can do is lay there. Oh no, no...not a good thing for a woman who is used to moving around when she doesn't feel good and hurts. The nurse asked me to remember what I learned in my birthing class. Birthing class? Hahaha, oh wait...I didn't take one. ;) I figured I would play it by ear. I am a very naive woman. I did not play it by ear. I was only dialated to a 2 I think. It might have been a 4. I don't remember, I just know that I must have been a huge pain because after only on hour or so, she admitted me.
We were admitted around 11pm. I got a lovely epidural around 1am and things seemed great for the first few hours. My husband laid down on a roll away bed and got some sleep...finally. It was great, I didn't feel a thing. Except I was HUNGRY! I mean, bite my arm off starving. My husband (the planner he is) told me to eat on the way and I said we will be in and out, its not labor, but it was and I didn't get any food. I should have listened. I was stuck at 4 (dialated to a 4) for a long time. Then around 5-6am, I started feeling contractions. The epidural appeared to be wearing off. Not good for a women who doesn't like pain and this pain was 5x what it was a few hours before in triage. So the nurse called the anethesiologist who gave me another dose. 30 minutes later, I was feeling contractions. We did this over and over and over. By 7:30am everything was a blur. I had been dosed with so much epidural, the nurse said I could have had a C-section with that amount and not felt anything and I was still feeling everything. My husband quit sleeping long before this because I was in so much pain. I was also still dialated to a 4. They gave me pitocin (which speeds things up) and everything just went crazy from there. The dr checked me and said that I was good and I should start dialating one centemeter per hour, so he would be back at lunch. Lunch?! Remember I was still starving. I told the nurse if I had to wait until lunch, I would for sure faint once I started pushing.
On a side note, the dr I chose whom I loved and was so comfortable with, was skiing that weekend. So I had another Dr whom I did not know and did not want. Two actually. One throughout the night and one at shift change at 7am. I was not very serene with the dr who told me I couldn't eat. Plus, we had hit Valentines day. Thats right, this was all the night before Valentines day and the morning of. Apparently there are a lot of women who schedule to be induced on this night so they can have Valentine babies. I saw the first dr a few times who was just checking in with us. The second dr I saw twice. Once to say hi and once to catch the baby. It was not a very personal experience with my dr.
Anyway, the epidural wasn't working. So the nurse decided to have the supervisor of the anethesiologists (all 6 of them that came in to up my dose) come in and do it again. They found that it was in too low. Given my size, they were just off and so they had to do it again. The rest happened so quickly. They didn't kick Philip out for this epidural because it all needed to happen quickly and he didn't have time to leave. They usually kick the husbands out because of the size of the needle. More husbands faint from that than the delivery. Philip was holding my head and telling me to breathe. The nurse was putting pressure on my stomach to calm the contractions and the dude is giving me an epidural all when I tell the nurse, "Something bounced!" Yep, I felt something. The other nurse who had come in for shift change blew me off and said nothing bounced honey. I said, "No, it did!". The nurse (the one I had all night) told everyone to stop and for me to lay down and sure enough, there was a head. I had gone from 4-10 centimeters in like 45 minutes. And I felt it all! The epidural was done at this point and was starting to kick in, the nurse ran after the dr who came in and said to push. I pushed twice and our baby was born at 8:31am Valentines day morning. I was totally numb and happy at this point.
Thats me at 38 weeks and right after our son was born. I was due February 26 and he came February 14.
The last part of my story ends with me almost fainting off a toilet. They had transferred me to a room and when we got there, I had to go to the bathroom. The nurse and my mom helped me to the toilet and when I got on I started seeing spots, then black. I said mom, I see black and then I remember going limp. My mom caught me (she is just as small as me) and the stupid nurse, instead of helping, ran to the door to call for help. My mom was mad and I remember hearing her say, if you don't get back here I am going to drop her and she will hit her head on the shower. The nurse came back to help, I came around but needless to say we asked for another nurse. Thats what happens when you get up and move around after having a full dose of an epidural.
So there you have it. This was our first borns birth story.
Monday, August 20, 2012
thinking ahead
Call me crazy, but I am in super organizing, declutter, plan ahead mode. Ever since August hit, the due date seems all of the sudden super close! I entered into my third trimester today and I am kind of excited and kind of getting nervous all over again just the same.
I have one kid, remember, but the thought of this one coming freaks me out just the same. It was about 6 weeks out with my son that I started thinking, "How is he supposed to come out?" Maybe this is just me, but I knew his approximate weight, I know my weight (FYI: I am pretty petite) and I know how big things are down there. Put it all together and things don't add up. Then the big day comes and what is truly a miracle is a miracle because your body just seems to adapt. Ah-mazing to say the least.
Anyway, I am still getting a little nervous again regardless of my experience. I am also a little anxious about nesting. I am in major nesting mode, hence the organizing and decluttering. I have given so much stuff to Goodwill this year, its ridiculous. Also keep in mind that my husband and I went from a 2800 sq. ft 4 bedroom house with just us two to a 2100 sq. ft 3 bedroom house with a little one. All that stuff that we had plenty of room for in 4 rooms has now got to fit in two...the office and our bedroom. The extra two rooms are now in use. So far I have redone our laundry room, our pantry, our bathroom, our closet and our sons room. He is asleep right now, otherwise, I would get pictures of it.
The laundry room, I simply cleaned up, bought some baskets and a couple shelves and threw out a bunch of not needed things.
In the pantry, I got more baskets and categorized items. In our bathroom cabinets, I cleaned out everything, threw everything away that was expired or not going to be used and re-organized in there. Then in our closets, I cleaned out extra hangers (my husband has his court clothes dry cleaned so we end up with thousands of hangers!) and gave away a bunch of pairs of shoes and clothes. We are also having a builder come in and re-do our closets to give us an extra rod each and make things more efficient in there.
Today, we had the nursery painted. They are coming back to do the design tomorrow. Pictures will come soon. I also ordered the baby bedding but part of it is back ordered until Sept 30. I am not due until November, but for some reason this is terrible news to me. LOL! I keep thinking what if it doesn't come in on time? But realistically, the baby will be in our room in a side sling bed for the first few weeks anyway and its not like the bumper is a huge deal to a 6 week old, but still...my hormones are telling me this is a big deal. :)
We did hire a doula this time too. She is amazing and so sweet. I meet with her next week to start wrapping my mind around this birth. I am going to TRY to have her all natural! No meds. Let me just state that I had an epidural with my first and I am not a fan of pain, so I am not promising anything, but I do want to try. I am so small that when I had the epidural with my first, they put it in too high and I felt everything anyway pretty much until 10 minutes before he was born. They had to give me a second one, which did kick in right in time for me to push twice and he was out. I was so drugged for so long after that since it was basically like getting an epidural and then being sent to a private room. I was dizzy and even fainted. Birth story to come in the next blog! It is kind of comical.
So for all the people out there who do not know me, let me introduce you to my crazy. Some may think, "hey, thats practical!" and some may say "she is flat out nuts!", either way, you are probably right. I have started Christmas shopping. Yes, you read that right. I am doing good too. I am making a bunch of gifts simply because pinterest has taken over my normal self and because I have no where to go when my kid is in bed at night and my husband works late. I already have a lot of gifts bought. Next step, after I make and buy everything, is to wrap them and have them ready to go by October! Hey! Does anyone want to shop with a one month old and a 21 month old? Not me. And frankly, I don't want that burden when my body is trying to heal and I am trying to get on a schedule thats best for my babies. Remember my previous blog? Schedule, schedule, schedule and work around my kids moods. I don't want to NEED to Christmas shop and then can't because of a kid configuring problem.
I also plan on making a bunch of freezer crock pot meals and stocking up at least 2 months worth so that I don't have to worry about dinner with 2 kids under the age of 2. Unfortunately, right now we are on a "mission to clean out the freezer". I say unfortunately because I am getting pretty creative on meals for us that include something from the freezer that isn't fine dining, but it feeds us. :) So in theory, I hope to have two months worth of meals prepared starting in October, have all Christmas presents made, bought and wrapped by October and have the nursery complete by middle of October!
I have a lot to do, but I am excited about all of it. Tales from what its like working with a doula who is going to mentally prepare me for an all natural childbirth to come. Progress on all my planning ahead will certainly continue to be a topic. Pictures of the nursery and the big boy room to come and a birth story for everyone's pleasure will be next. So stay tuned...
I have one kid, remember, but the thought of this one coming freaks me out just the same. It was about 6 weeks out with my son that I started thinking, "How is he supposed to come out?" Maybe this is just me, but I knew his approximate weight, I know my weight (FYI: I am pretty petite) and I know how big things are down there. Put it all together and things don't add up. Then the big day comes and what is truly a miracle is a miracle because your body just seems to adapt. Ah-mazing to say the least.
Anyway, I am still getting a little nervous again regardless of my experience. I am also a little anxious about nesting. I am in major nesting mode, hence the organizing and decluttering. I have given so much stuff to Goodwill this year, its ridiculous. Also keep in mind that my husband and I went from a 2800 sq. ft 4 bedroom house with just us two to a 2100 sq. ft 3 bedroom house with a little one. All that stuff that we had plenty of room for in 4 rooms has now got to fit in two...the office and our bedroom. The extra two rooms are now in use. So far I have redone our laundry room, our pantry, our bathroom, our closet and our sons room. He is asleep right now, otherwise, I would get pictures of it.
The laundry room, I simply cleaned up, bought some baskets and a couple shelves and threw out a bunch of not needed things.
In the pantry, I got more baskets and categorized items. In our bathroom cabinets, I cleaned out everything, threw everything away that was expired or not going to be used and re-organized in there. Then in our closets, I cleaned out extra hangers (my husband has his court clothes dry cleaned so we end up with thousands of hangers!) and gave away a bunch of pairs of shoes and clothes. We are also having a builder come in and re-do our closets to give us an extra rod each and make things more efficient in there.
Today, we had the nursery painted. They are coming back to do the design tomorrow. Pictures will come soon. I also ordered the baby bedding but part of it is back ordered until Sept 30. I am not due until November, but for some reason this is terrible news to me. LOL! I keep thinking what if it doesn't come in on time? But realistically, the baby will be in our room in a side sling bed for the first few weeks anyway and its not like the bumper is a huge deal to a 6 week old, but still...my hormones are telling me this is a big deal. :)
We did hire a doula this time too. She is amazing and so sweet. I meet with her next week to start wrapping my mind around this birth. I am going to TRY to have her all natural! No meds. Let me just state that I had an epidural with my first and I am not a fan of pain, so I am not promising anything, but I do want to try. I am so small that when I had the epidural with my first, they put it in too high and I felt everything anyway pretty much until 10 minutes before he was born. They had to give me a second one, which did kick in right in time for me to push twice and he was out. I was so drugged for so long after that since it was basically like getting an epidural and then being sent to a private room. I was dizzy and even fainted. Birth story to come in the next blog! It is kind of comical.
So for all the people out there who do not know me, let me introduce you to my crazy. Some may think, "hey, thats practical!" and some may say "she is flat out nuts!", either way, you are probably right. I have started Christmas shopping. Yes, you read that right. I am doing good too. I am making a bunch of gifts simply because pinterest has taken over my normal self and because I have no where to go when my kid is in bed at night and my husband works late. I already have a lot of gifts bought. Next step, after I make and buy everything, is to wrap them and have them ready to go by October! Hey! Does anyone want to shop with a one month old and a 21 month old? Not me. And frankly, I don't want that burden when my body is trying to heal and I am trying to get on a schedule thats best for my babies. Remember my previous blog? Schedule, schedule, schedule and work around my kids moods. I don't want to NEED to Christmas shop and then can't because of a kid configuring problem.
I also plan on making a bunch of freezer crock pot meals and stocking up at least 2 months worth so that I don't have to worry about dinner with 2 kids under the age of 2. Unfortunately, right now we are on a "mission to clean out the freezer". I say unfortunately because I am getting pretty creative on meals for us that include something from the freezer that isn't fine dining, but it feeds us. :) So in theory, I hope to have two months worth of meals prepared starting in October, have all Christmas presents made, bought and wrapped by October and have the nursery complete by middle of October!
I have a lot to do, but I am excited about all of it. Tales from what its like working with a doula who is going to mentally prepare me for an all natural childbirth to come. Progress on all my planning ahead will certainly continue to be a topic. Pictures of the nursery and the big boy room to come and a birth story for everyone's pleasure will be next. So stay tuned...
Friday, August 10, 2012
Kids and Marriage
I don't know if I was the only one to be shocked how things change once you have kids. All I know is that I had this impression that being married was awesome (which it is), we got along great, so throw some kids in the mix and its the same with extra little people running around. WRONG! Let me start by giving some insight into my marriage.
I have a wonderful marriage. I am married to an amazing man that supports my dreams, that would do anything and wants to do anything for me, and is just as passionate about us as I am. Obviously, when we first got married, we had some arguments on money, how to save/spend and whose stuff goes and whose stays. I am sure you all had these arguments. Once we figured out where we stood, we combined our methods and things worked out. Now, 3 1/2 years later, all that seems to be working out. We are on the same page and agree on almost everything. We were living near Austin the first 2 years of our marriage and we had a blast. We would go see movies anytime we wanted, go on dates every Friday night...yes, my amazing husband, got dressed up with me and we went out every Friday night...we spent extra money on things we wanted to, and we had no real worries.
Then fast foward a year or so, we moved to Dallas. We were 7 months pregnant at the time and our world was about to change! This little bundle of joy, born on Valentine's day 2011, came into our lives and all of the sudden things were different. Most for great reasons, some not so great. For one, the stay at home gig kind of kicked in and I felt like he got to get away from the screaming baby and I was stuck with the screaming baby (he didn't really scream that often). He came home and still needed to decompress before getting into "daddy duties" and I was ready for a break. Add all those miscommunication, misunderstandings up and then throw in the fact that we were living with his parents. We didn't exactly want to fight because we were opposed to that in front of our son and his parents, but we weren't jiving like before. Feelings got pushed down, hurt got swirled around, and my new mommy emotions were off the chart crazy. So lets just say...off the record...most, not all, but most of the problems came from me being nutty. Then we move out and we get into our brand new built home. Its beautiful, we have our own room where we can actually fit things, we have our own bed back and we got our life back. One problem, we had been living in a very different life that we no longer knew how to jive as well anymore. Don't get me wrong, we still laughed, we still were madly in love with each other, we just didn't know how to show it or tell each other how we were feeling as easily as before simply because WE, were no longer the priority; our son was. We no longer took the time to express our concerns because we had no time. When were we going to? In the middle of the night when we had 2 hours before his next feeding? Once he got home from working a new job where he was getting his own practice on its feet, he was ready to just sit still for a minute. He didn't want to hear how I felt abandoned all day or whatever was going through my crazy head then. Then once we had dinner and chilled for an hour or so, it was time to get the baby down. Then we had 2 hours to ourselves before bed and another feeding and I really didn't want to ruin that by arguing and neither did he, so naturally, feelings got shoved down.
Fast forward another year, here we are. We have successfully gotten back on track. It didn't take this long, no, it only took a couple weeks (LONG weeks ;) ), but things are amazing again. This is what changes though: what was once your priority (your husband) is now your baby (especially at such a young age), what was once a "free" life is now consumed by a baby's schedule, and you are left with almost a disconnect with your husband because you don't really have time to stay connected as much. We would still go out, but those converstaions were filled with the baby and work. Who were we now that we were parents? What changed within us? Did we know? We should have and then we should have talked about it...which we eventually did. Everything changes. As stated before, most is amazing and great, but you change and your husband changes. Though both of those are good in and of themselves, if you are not communicating how you have changed to the other, than how are we supposed to know? We were going about life as if we were our "single" selves, but needed to talk about how our "parent" selves had taken over and we were different people.
This is what I have learned so far:
That my husband really is and needs to be the priority. Our kids are important and they NEED us, but we are not giving them the best life they can have (which is what every parent wants) if we are not taking care of our marriage. My kids come second. Yes there are moments when our kids need us immediately, or are hungry and need to be fed, are hurt or need attention, and my kids get all this as it comes up. But my husband gets the rest of my time and is more important in the end. If we work out, our kids emotional and mental ways of looking at marriage and being parents one day will be healthy.
We need date nights. My kid can survive one night without me. I did not think this was possible the first 6 months, but they can. And when we are out, we try not to talk about work or the kids. Thats for dinner times at home.
We need vacation alone. My kids can survive a week with grandma after about 6 months and be just fine. I was not so sure of that the first trip we went away. Our son was 11 months old and we left for 10 days. I was a nervous wreck until I saw the beaches of Jamaica and looked at the person standing next to me whom I missed, my best friend, my husband.
My husband needs attention too. I may not be able to give it to him as soon as he walks in the door if our kid is still awake, but as soon as he goes to bed, my husband gets my attention.
We eat dinner as many times as possible a week together, with no electronics on. This gives us time to reconnect.
We need to still do things that we think our fun. You are never too old to go to a concert. I say that, and then the last rock concert we went to, we decided we needed ear plugs at the next one. You are never too old to stand in line for a popular movie that just came out. And the kids can stay with Grandma or a babysitter can come over and everything will be ok. Like I said, my husband is my priority.
I embraced being a stay at home mom. I took pride in it and started remembering that this is what I wanted. I remembered that this is a blessing not a curse and I looked at the positive sides of it. This does not mean that my son and I don't have bad days, but it does mean, that during those bad days, I remember that I would rather be here than at work. I took pride in my home and taking care of my family. Now, my husband leaving his socks everywhere is not that big of a deal, because I enjoy taking care of him and picking up my house. Before, I was going crazy because I figured he thought I was his maid. I am a huge fan of I Love Lucy and the 50's. I know we don't live a TV show life, especially from the 1950's, but I want to and I remember that Lucy Ricardo and Laura Petrie didn't complain. They were loving, caring, giving wives and I strive to be that too.
Respect him and he will cherish me. Just respect his opinion about the kids, the house even if you know your system works. I struggle with this. I try to remember that he is an equal parent and partner and his opinions need to matter because he is a priority and he needs to feel and be respected.
Recently I started reading a couple books to help things continue to grow. My marriage is great, but I am reading these books because I want to tend to my marriage and make sure that it continues to be great. So here are my suggestions on books that are excellent and doing a lot for me right now.
1. Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst. This book talks about how to be a Godly wife and make the most of your marriage. It describes what men need to feel secure and respected and how we can give them that. Its been amazing so far. There is another book that is for him called Capture Her Heart by the same author. I am loving this book so much that I asked my husband to read this one and his response was, "Sure!" That surprised me, but he said that the little things that I am doing for him as a result of my book has made an impact on him, so he is willing to read this book for me.
2. Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone. I am only part way through this book but it gives great insight to being a parent and how life changes. It relates to me a lot, though I feel like I am blessed that my husband and I have such great understanding for each other and communication skills that we worked through a lot of this before it got too bad. Some of their situations are already bitter and resentful, but they give great advice.
3. My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. I have not read this book yet, but its next in line. If you haven't read Proverbs 31, go read it. I strive to live up to the woman described in the Bible. I try to read it every day and I am constantly praying that God give me this kind of spirit and generosity for my family. I can't wait to start this book.
4. Men are Like Waffles Women are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel. I have not read this book either, but its on my list. This book explains the difference between men and women. How we think, act and react to things. I don't know about you, but men are strange and they think we're strange. We could all benefit more to understand where are husbands are coming from before we react in a negative way. Truth is, most of the time, both husbands and wives have the best of intentions that are taken the wrong way because of how we are so different. I want to know my husband more. I want to know how he operates so I can assist in his actions and reactions instead of scolding them.
I have learned so much about me as a person since our son was born. I am strong, independent, efficient, smart, wise, a good mom and a good wife. I still have lots to learn though. I want a 50 year wedding anniversary. Thats our goal. I am constantly reminding myslef of Proverbs 31, remembering that my husband's opinions matter and remembering that he has needs too that I need to make sure I prioritize. In turn, all the things that I worried about and needed from him, fall into place. He cherishes me and wants to give me time to myself to be pampered or shop, he calls me and asks me if he can bring me anything on his way home from work (like chocolate cake), he offers to let me sleep in on weekends, he buys me cute, fun random things just because he is thinking about me. We do not have the perfect marriage and I am not a perfect mom. I work hard at being a wife and a mom (no one said it would always be easy), I learned what was important and how to prioritize, and as a result I am blessed beyond belief with a very healthy, happy marriage and a growing family that is excelling. I hope that anyone and everyone who reads this, can strive to have the same.
I have a wonderful marriage. I am married to an amazing man that supports my dreams, that would do anything and wants to do anything for me, and is just as passionate about us as I am. Obviously, when we first got married, we had some arguments on money, how to save/spend and whose stuff goes and whose stays. I am sure you all had these arguments. Once we figured out where we stood, we combined our methods and things worked out. Now, 3 1/2 years later, all that seems to be working out. We are on the same page and agree on almost everything. We were living near Austin the first 2 years of our marriage and we had a blast. We would go see movies anytime we wanted, go on dates every Friday night...yes, my amazing husband, got dressed up with me and we went out every Friday night...we spent extra money on things we wanted to, and we had no real worries.
Then fast foward a year or so, we moved to Dallas. We were 7 months pregnant at the time and our world was about to change! This little bundle of joy, born on Valentine's day 2011, came into our lives and all of the sudden things were different. Most for great reasons, some not so great. For one, the stay at home gig kind of kicked in and I felt like he got to get away from the screaming baby and I was stuck with the screaming baby (he didn't really scream that often). He came home and still needed to decompress before getting into "daddy duties" and I was ready for a break. Add all those miscommunication, misunderstandings up and then throw in the fact that we were living with his parents. We didn't exactly want to fight because we were opposed to that in front of our son and his parents, but we weren't jiving like before. Feelings got pushed down, hurt got swirled around, and my new mommy emotions were off the chart crazy. So lets just say...off the record...most, not all, but most of the problems came from me being nutty. Then we move out and we get into our brand new built home. Its beautiful, we have our own room where we can actually fit things, we have our own bed back and we got our life back. One problem, we had been living in a very different life that we no longer knew how to jive as well anymore. Don't get me wrong, we still laughed, we still were madly in love with each other, we just didn't know how to show it or tell each other how we were feeling as easily as before simply because WE, were no longer the priority; our son was. We no longer took the time to express our concerns because we had no time. When were we going to? In the middle of the night when we had 2 hours before his next feeding? Once he got home from working a new job where he was getting his own practice on its feet, he was ready to just sit still for a minute. He didn't want to hear how I felt abandoned all day or whatever was going through my crazy head then. Then once we had dinner and chilled for an hour or so, it was time to get the baby down. Then we had 2 hours to ourselves before bed and another feeding and I really didn't want to ruin that by arguing and neither did he, so naturally, feelings got shoved down.
Fast forward another year, here we are. We have successfully gotten back on track. It didn't take this long, no, it only took a couple weeks (LONG weeks ;) ), but things are amazing again. This is what changes though: what was once your priority (your husband) is now your baby (especially at such a young age), what was once a "free" life is now consumed by a baby's schedule, and you are left with almost a disconnect with your husband because you don't really have time to stay connected as much. We would still go out, but those converstaions were filled with the baby and work. Who were we now that we were parents? What changed within us? Did we know? We should have and then we should have talked about it...which we eventually did. Everything changes. As stated before, most is amazing and great, but you change and your husband changes. Though both of those are good in and of themselves, if you are not communicating how you have changed to the other, than how are we supposed to know? We were going about life as if we were our "single" selves, but needed to talk about how our "parent" selves had taken over and we were different people.
This is what I have learned so far:
That my husband really is and needs to be the priority. Our kids are important and they NEED us, but we are not giving them the best life they can have (which is what every parent wants) if we are not taking care of our marriage. My kids come second. Yes there are moments when our kids need us immediately, or are hungry and need to be fed, are hurt or need attention, and my kids get all this as it comes up. But my husband gets the rest of my time and is more important in the end. If we work out, our kids emotional and mental ways of looking at marriage and being parents one day will be healthy.
We need date nights. My kid can survive one night without me. I did not think this was possible the first 6 months, but they can. And when we are out, we try not to talk about work or the kids. Thats for dinner times at home.
We need vacation alone. My kids can survive a week with grandma after about 6 months and be just fine. I was not so sure of that the first trip we went away. Our son was 11 months old and we left for 10 days. I was a nervous wreck until I saw the beaches of Jamaica and looked at the person standing next to me whom I missed, my best friend, my husband.
My husband needs attention too. I may not be able to give it to him as soon as he walks in the door if our kid is still awake, but as soon as he goes to bed, my husband gets my attention.
We eat dinner as many times as possible a week together, with no electronics on. This gives us time to reconnect.
We need to still do things that we think our fun. You are never too old to go to a concert. I say that, and then the last rock concert we went to, we decided we needed ear plugs at the next one. You are never too old to stand in line for a popular movie that just came out. And the kids can stay with Grandma or a babysitter can come over and everything will be ok. Like I said, my husband is my priority.
I embraced being a stay at home mom. I took pride in it and started remembering that this is what I wanted. I remembered that this is a blessing not a curse and I looked at the positive sides of it. This does not mean that my son and I don't have bad days, but it does mean, that during those bad days, I remember that I would rather be here than at work. I took pride in my home and taking care of my family. Now, my husband leaving his socks everywhere is not that big of a deal, because I enjoy taking care of him and picking up my house. Before, I was going crazy because I figured he thought I was his maid. I am a huge fan of I Love Lucy and the 50's. I know we don't live a TV show life, especially from the 1950's, but I want to and I remember that Lucy Ricardo and Laura Petrie didn't complain. They were loving, caring, giving wives and I strive to be that too.
Respect him and he will cherish me. Just respect his opinion about the kids, the house even if you know your system works. I struggle with this. I try to remember that he is an equal parent and partner and his opinions need to matter because he is a priority and he needs to feel and be respected.
Recently I started reading a couple books to help things continue to grow. My marriage is great, but I am reading these books because I want to tend to my marriage and make sure that it continues to be great. So here are my suggestions on books that are excellent and doing a lot for me right now.
1. Capture His Heart by Lysa TerKeurst. This book talks about how to be a Godly wife and make the most of your marriage. It describes what men need to feel secure and respected and how we can give them that. Its been amazing so far. There is another book that is for him called Capture Her Heart by the same author. I am loving this book so much that I asked my husband to read this one and his response was, "Sure!" That surprised me, but he said that the little things that I am doing for him as a result of my book has made an impact on him, so he is willing to read this book for me.
2. Babyproofing Your Marriage by Stacie Cockrell, Cathy O'Neill and Julia Stone. I am only part way through this book but it gives great insight to being a parent and how life changes. It relates to me a lot, though I feel like I am blessed that my husband and I have such great understanding for each other and communication skills that we worked through a lot of this before it got too bad. Some of their situations are already bitter and resentful, but they give great advice.
3. My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 Wife by Sara Horn. I have not read this book yet, but its next in line. If you haven't read Proverbs 31, go read it. I strive to live up to the woman described in the Bible. I try to read it every day and I am constantly praying that God give me this kind of spirit and generosity for my family. I can't wait to start this book.
4. Men are Like Waffles Women are Like Spaghetti by Bill and Pam Farrel. I have not read this book either, but its on my list. This book explains the difference between men and women. How we think, act and react to things. I don't know about you, but men are strange and they think we're strange. We could all benefit more to understand where are husbands are coming from before we react in a negative way. Truth is, most of the time, both husbands and wives have the best of intentions that are taken the wrong way because of how we are so different. I want to know my husband more. I want to know how he operates so I can assist in his actions and reactions instead of scolding them.
I have learned so much about me as a person since our son was born. I am strong, independent, efficient, smart, wise, a good mom and a good wife. I still have lots to learn though. I want a 50 year wedding anniversary. Thats our goal. I am constantly reminding myslef of Proverbs 31, remembering that my husband's opinions matter and remembering that he has needs too that I need to make sure I prioritize. In turn, all the things that I worried about and needed from him, fall into place. He cherishes me and wants to give me time to myself to be pampered or shop, he calls me and asks me if he can bring me anything on his way home from work (like chocolate cake), he offers to let me sleep in on weekends, he buys me cute, fun random things just because he is thinking about me. We do not have the perfect marriage and I am not a perfect mom. I work hard at being a wife and a mom (no one said it would always be easy), I learned what was important and how to prioritize, and as a result I am blessed beyond belief with a very healthy, happy marriage and a growing family that is excelling. I hope that anyone and everyone who reads this, can strive to have the same.
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