Shark Week

I don't know why I love shark week on the discovery channel every year, but I do. Truth is, I am terrified of sharks and yet I want to know everything about them. I guess I figure that if I know everything about them, then I won't be as afraid. I still don't want to get in the ocean...anywhere...ever. Extreme? Yes. Absurd? Yes. But I don't want to even have the possibility of becoming shark bait. I learned that its out in the ocean and off shore that people get bitten more often, which takes scuba diving and snorkeling off the to do list. But I also learned that sharks can go in as a little as 3ft of water to get its prey, so that eliminates the shallow area too. See why getting in the water is a bad idea? :)

Here's what I do love. I love watching how to survive a shark attack. And truth is, once I am in the Caribbean and I have a few Jamaican Smiles (strawberry daiquiri and a Pina colada mixed together with some rum cream! If you haven't had this, try it! AMAZING!) in me, I will probably end up in the water anyway. So I want to know how to NOT get bitten. I also love the show How Not to be Shark Bait too. Those two shows are right up my alley because this helps me deal with my fear in a more rational, logical way. I love learning about the tiger shark, bull shark and the great white (the three most dangerous sharks) and knowing their weaknesses and hell, their strengths too! You got to know your enemy if you're going to defeat it!

Ever since I was a little girl I have been terrified of sharks and I am not sure where this stems from. I have never been bitten by a shark, I have never been up close with a shark except in an aquarium and I loved the movie Jaws! I am also terrified of spiders and tornadoes for very logical reasons, but those are stories and reasons for another blog another day. :) I used to think that if I ever encountered a shark in the ocean I would just give him my head and call it quits. I don't want to deal with a shark biting me and losing my leg or arm. But these days, I am much more practical. The Discovery Channel has helped me with that. I will fight! I will punch that shark in the gills and eyes so hard, he better let me go! And if he gets my leg, well, I'll probably be in shock and won't remember much after that, so it'll all work out.

But heres what made me very angry about shark week this year. The stupid Megaladon documentary. If you haven't seen it, here's the scoop. Some boat full of people gets attacked in the middle of the ocean and all 4 on board die. People research the accident and take a look at the boat thats under water and see that theres a big bite in it. They call in a marine biologist expert who studies strange things and he is convinced this is megaladon (a giant prehistoric shark) and goes on a search for it. I am not going to lie; I sat on the edge of my seat the whole time anticipating what would happen next and planning out my future of never, EVER stepping foot or going near an ocean again in my lifetime as long as this thing is out there. I was fascinated, intrigued, excited, scared and in awe the entire time until....the very end when disclaimers came across the screen stating that this was all fake! FAKE?!?!

Let me explain my outrage. I don't like to learn really. I like to just keep what little I really need to know in my head about history, math, science, etc. and enjoy learning about only the things that I really like (like cooking and crafts). I don't watch the discovery channel (with the exception of one week out of the year every year), the history channel or any other channel thats informative. I like my sitcoms. So for me, to WANT to watch the discovery channel to learn about creatures that scare me and fascinate me at the same time is a really good thing! And thats just it, I wanted to learn. I wanted Megaladon to be real because its scary, and an interesting possibility I had never thought about. It was a creature that up until last week, I didn't even know existed (now or back then)! The only thing the mockumentary did for me was teach me about a really old, freaky gigantic shark. The discovery channel is what it is....something you watch to discover. I didn't want to watch shark week so I could get a big ole heap of crap fed to me. I wanted to watch it to discover things. If this documentary had been on ABC or CBS, I would not have been offended. It would have been a fun, FICTIONAL story. But opening up shark week with something thats a scare and hype thing rather than what people gravitate towards Discovery channel once a year for, is a load of poo. I wanted to learn and for a whole two hours, I thought I was a part of a huge mysterious discovery that would change the way I viewed our oceans forever! Instead, I wasted two hours that I could have been watching Jaws and getting the same result and effect out of. For this...I am mad at discovery channel.

This year, I found myself having a love/hate relationship with the discovery channel. I didn't watch as much as I could have. I recorded a few shows that I wanted to see, but I was just too mad to keep watching. I know this may seem a little over dramatic, but imagine wanting nothing more than to discover, learn and soak in everything and anything about your biggest fear or most curious obsession to find out that all you were being given was not accurate. Not facts, but story telling and fiction. It just got under my skin. So...I say goodbye to shark week of 2013. You pissed me off thoroughly. I will see you next year and hopefully you can deliver some facts and good tips for me on how I can slowly but surely learn how to stop being terrified of sharks and learn to grow to respect them (and maybe learn how to beat the crap out of them if they try to eat me).